antagonism

2007-03-15T18:00:00.000+08:00

whoa, so this is the first post after a trillion months lol
just had a mystery test today damn my carrots were uncooked!-.-
wad a spoiler nehneh RAH

so im down to my last 2 weeks of proper school
headed down to the oriental yday for an interview
i went there WITHOUT my IC so the extremely POLITE security lady didn leet me in
mum had to rush down with my IC heh
i know im sucha spoilt brat sometimes
especially since school started
i hope i get the job, if not i really wouldnt know where to head to
hmmm. anyone has any contacts with people in the hotel line?
the ones i wanna try are all full, no more vacancy
conrad, marina mandarin, copthorne waterfront blablablabla

have been meeting noone but my mum cuz my hours are like so irregular
my hols are startin 6th april to 15th!
EVERYBODY! MEET UP!
i wanna go for a short trip or something, anyone interested? heh

alright gtg.

2007-02-15T20:44:00.000+08:00

absolutely wanted to blog but!
i think my brain just messed its contents up, so there
im speechless, as usual

cheers for all who're officially free from the term 'school'
people my batch/level/age have graduated and im still in the 2nd month of school RAH

speaking of age, i cant believe im hitting the two's in a few hours time
i barely even look 18! &@^@#^%$^
and having to spend this coming day never felt this dreadful
have never really enjoyed birthdays, not my own
its like aniticipation then repulsion like ?!!!

and i thought they're supposed to make u feel special?
that, i totally do not understand and totally disagree
i think they make u feel worse than u do, worse than u should

wah, so much for a messed up brain
i actually blogged quite ABIT. lol

alright, ciaociao

2007-01-31T11:32:00.000+08:00

so things have been going pretty smoothly for me
the days at least i think
all i do is blink and ta daa, its the third week alr
good for me, making friends haven felt easier
cuz thankfully, theyre almost all a pretty nice bunch
ALMOST
(thats excluding the ridiculous uncle whom i really wanted to kill)
i am NOT to be trifled with ROAR

well well, CNY's coming
which spells a short break for everyone haha
including myself duh
cant wait cant wait cant wait
the mrt rides all the way to the west is killing me slowly

BAH, lessons again later at 2
i shall go show that uncle wad im made of!
i am woman! hear me ROAR!
lol

2007-01-17T21:22:00.000+08:00

so its the 4th school day tmr and after 3 days of school i realised

- i'm gonna have practical tests every week
- ive to start waking up at 6 in the morning ON MY OWN
- ive to squeeze on the super packed train with tons of ppl (not to mention the @!$#^%@^ ones)
- the damn ride is almost an hour long
- 80% of my coursemates belong to the male species
- out of the 7 female, 3 are above 30 and married with kids while 3 are my species(if u know wad i mean) while the other is well, 26

ok, i actually have many other points but i figured if i continue listing,
i'd probably have to list at least 20 more lol

im amazed that i haven taken a single cab this week
seriously, its too far for me to even imagine the fare
i guess thats one of the more positive thing since school heh

oh and this's also the first time im in a class with guys 30 years my senior
theyre older than my mum!
not that its anything bad really, just felt odd u know
having a 'father' sort of figure being ur partner
learning together and well, teaching each other the itsy bitsy stuff
perhaps its just me and my senstive self u know,
just like how i freaked out before the whole school thing started

things are getting better at least
not as bad as i imagined
pieces falling into place
and i cant wait to get my chef jacket on fri!!!!!! hahahahha
though its really just a uniform practically anyone use in the kitchen
still, im just excited cancancancancan lol
wah, with the super rock-hard safety shoes
i'll look like a factory auntie hahahahaha

ok, i shall take a pic of my uniform tmr(polo tee and pants la)
cuz ken said i look like shit in them
but i actually kinda think theyre ok?
argh whatever haha

tmr people (thats if ANYONE even reads this still)
this blog is so dead its sad haha

2007-01-11T19:46:00.000+08:00

rahh! ive been so damn angsty the past two days
been gettin pissed over the slightest thing right down to the dumb weather
though i still think im not wrong with whatever i was pissed about, hmmm
then again, for someone as hot-tempered and self-righteous as i
nothings quite right nor wrong

i guess its all the anxiety thats raging my incredible hormones
so much so that even my mum is giving in to me
now thats rare and it only goes to show how snappy i am
school's starting in like wad? 3 more days?
after 2 whole years of not getting involved with ANY educational system NOR school
plus, the activity 'social' hasnt exactly been on my to-do list of late
what can be worse?

and i just got my tt yday
ive school from mondays to SATURDAYS
8 to bloody 6 on saturdays somemore

it could just be me but yeah, i feel like a pri school kid
its screwing my head more than anything else
NIAK! RAH! BAH! GAH!

oh man, its been like 2 months since i blogged
haha. my last entry was like last year?
ok, i should start again i think. hmmm

2006-11-03T11:26:00.000+08:00

its not supposed to feel like this isnt it?
i mean put aside the grief and tension, why do i feel stress and pressure too?

its not as though anyone's expecting something from me
what can they anyway?
it just never felt this awkward and stressful talking to/being around her
a slight slip of the tongue and god knows what will happen
she's been so nice, nicest to me i must say
and there's nothing left to do but watch as everything starts to move in fastforward mode

who wouldve even imagined this?
just starts the damn fear in me
fear for the effects of this vicious cycle
which is sick even for the mind to think about
niak! what a disgusting entry for the morning
but this happens when ure at a lost for what to do

i'm thinkin of all sorts of possibilities just because of my own definition of helpless
what should she be thinking of then?
i dare not even try answering

I hate to see you cry
lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But i know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But i know the heart of life is good

john mayer - heart of life

on a lighter note
i think john mayer's new album is getting to me
im starting to really really like it
fight fire with fire, blues with blues
ok not exactly but theyre just quite damn good
classic? maybe. whatever.

2006-10-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

yet another month
is monotony the new in or something?
rah

maybe im just this affected at the end of the month
realising that another wretched 30 odd days just said bye
i wonder how many i'll actually get to waste like that
hmmm

i really feel like stepping out to meet more people
but when like its the arranged-time to meet,
the hungry lethargicbug starts eating me up
dammit

all i do is mj, mj and mj for my offs
thats absolutely productive and constructive isnt it =/
to the extent whereby i feel like i cant see people here anymore
hello there! where?

randomrandomrandom

saphila, so goot ah you
go nippon see many many nihon-jin ah
maybe can bring back bb style nihon-jin bf?!
ok, thats abit the difficult but who cares?
youre going to ri ben! haha

and ken, i'll really appreciate it if u DO NOT call me by my chi name
ThankYouVeryMuch
hahaha blog alr laaa

jaejaejae, geor is doing exactly like the above
random, ridiculous and most importantly boring
haiyo, i hope ure having a better time aye
and yes, (i dont normally do this, really)
geor misses you. really la
not entertaining u or whatever
GAH

and yet another mj session tmr
im looking forward to it seriously
cuz its the only thing i do that requires my brain to work, nowadays

2006-09-14T00:54:00.000+08:00

this's quite cool bloggin using my phone. Lol. Ok, i know i'm sucha sua gu. Alright, after some not-so-cheap thrill, i sld go sleep. Night world.

2006-09-08T16:56:00.000+08:00

this is boredom at its climax/peak whatever
boredom maximus

and im like finally getting a WEEKEND off day pls
ah, feels heavenly even before the day itself is here lol

ok, i sld go get new earphones/headphones
whichever impresses me later

oh well, what exactly is boredom?
with monotony working its way into everyday

2006-09-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

this feels kinda foreign
im always flooded with things to blog about whenever im out
but when i get down to it, can never quite get it out like i used to
vapourised

met up with some people on monday
it came to me as a rather odd mix,
without the usuals who help neutralise the awkwardness
i must mention this before i go though, im pretty extreme when i feel weird
its either autistic(ok, perhaps just being alot quieter than usual)
or ill just blabber on and on about absolute rubbish

in this case, i went on like a machine gun operated by a 7yr old
bangbangbang
shootshootshoot
all numb with my nonsense way beforehand

and, i finally had a somewhat decent conversation with someone
it felt good, of course
having drifted so far apart over something i still cant quite put a finger to
i never dared bring up anything that quite requires the use of past tenses
i mean, of cuz nothing of the past bugs me(not regarding alot at least)
but it just felt like thats where the line sld be drawn
lest i retardedly spout rubbish once more, like i always do-.-

point is it felt good, it feels good
not that im sure she isnt pissed with me anymore
not that im sure i wouldnt remind her of stuffs she was tryin to forget
not that im sure the pricks arent there anymore(ok, actually i know its still there)
but its a good start, to me

it was a bag full of emotions when i realised she was pissed
like 'huh?!', then comes anger and more 'huhs' finally with a tinge of regret
i mean i may appear like it didnt matter
and perhaps it really didnt/doesnt matter to anyone but it did, to me

to me, she was a close friend
someone i could relate to, stuffs like that
oh well, i barely have any so-called goodfriends
even if i do, most of the time, it feels more like a one-sided thing
(goodness! now im making it all sound so weird, again)

oh and i really really wanna apologise to someone
perhaps my absence meant nothing but its still buggin me
and i didnt even get to wish u a happy birthday ah
i didnt even send u off-.-
maybe after reading this, u can kinda tell how insignificant a person i think i am right?
so hopefully you get what im trying to say
confusing? yeah i think so too
haiya im just seriously sorry

RIGHT. this is the reason why i cant seem to get anything on this blog
cuz it all seems so trivial, so frivolous, so unsincere, so artificial but nah
i shant delete this again
its better to have something boring to occupy this space than nothing at all
so, happy getting bored

2006-08-08T21:06:00.000+08:00

and so ive been missing from the virtual world for quite a bit
been working for my mum and hey, it isnt that bad
besides the extremely early mornings

i mean yeah, all along ive shared a close r/s with the mother
but its somewhat different and better since working for her
though i have to admit we sorta argue more regularly now

somehow, something that happened lately got me started on this whole
bonding-with-the-family thing

just curious, do we really respect the aged or
is it only cuz we're afraid of all the guilt and regrets that'll come along with their death?

cmon be honest, majority of us cannot tolerate the incessant nagging
though we all know well enough that its all for the better
nvm, i sldnt start, if not ill never stop

oh and i cant believe i can get nonsense like this, happening now
its so funny i cant help laughing
its bringing back the shadows of the sec-school geor lol
nvm, its so stupid its not even worth mentioning

hermit geor, this is bad
i will try start meeting the world soon, im sorry-.-

to birks or not to birks
haiyo

2006-07-22T00:12:00.000+08:00

aiyo, why when i publish the previous entry
the july 9th entry pop out?!

no yx, im not adapting the bloggin system from MOU MOU blog
thats pure accident! hahahahahha

i did that entry awhile ago, i couldnt get it published properly
and now it decided to pop outta nowhere-.-
SPLENDID hahahaha
oh btw, i think the quiz is QUITE true
hah! i think.. hmmm

yes i know, it still looks rather screwed so yeah
whatever la rah

oh and i forgot this,
ive this new thing bout coming home before the sun goes home
im afraid of the night yo! LOL

ok, bullshit ciao

2006-07-21T23:55:00.000+08:00

oh i feel huge-ass generous today i bet
haha but it always pays to make people around feel loved yoyoyo
never fails to make your day
but then the next u feel the huge pinch and sympathy, for yourself-.-

haiya, i had so much to talk about
and now im dry on what to blog
shit

now we know why i haven been blogging
RAH, maybe tmr will be better

ciao ciao

2006-07-09T14:08:00.000+08:00

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this worldSo much so that you tend to live in your head most of the timeYou have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult
You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.
Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsoulareyouquiz/" What Kind of Soul Are You?

2006-07-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

last night my granny made us some bee hoon for dinner
i took my plate and went to the wok,
carefully picking this particular 'thing' onto my plate alongside the bee hoon
it was like my all-time favourite and i haven eaten it for ages
happily eating at the dinnertable, i saved the 'thing' for last
works the same as the damn 'save the best for last' theory

so much for saving it, i didnt even touch it after the first bite
and no, dont get me wrong,
this entry, after such a long time, isnt about my irrelevant eating habits
more like it made me realise something which i think i need to keep a record of
well, just in case i forget, like i always do

always having wanting something, increases the value of it IN OUR HEAD
even though it may very well be diminishing at an astonishing rate OUT OF IT
we've just paid too much attention to the 'desire'
and of course, the process of which we went through to wait and finally have it
that we keep a blind eye to whether it is still as important
so when we get it, it the other way around cuz the desire for it is long gone
we just owe the rush-to-the-head and joy to our efforts for waiting, pulling off

sounds amazingly boring i know haha
the wonders of a chestnut hahahaha
oh yeah, its chestnut i was talking about
but no, im not that crazy about it, just a REFERENCE
hahahaha

oh yea, got tagged by SAPHILA yoyo

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your Livejournal (or blog) along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to in absolute random order.

1. Sergio Mendes feat. Black Eyed Peas - Mas Que Nada
2. Sergio Mendes - Never Gonna Let You Go
3. Corrine Bailey Rae - Like A Star
4. Bright Eyes - No Lies, Just Love
5. Jack Johnson - Fortunate Fool
6. Mae - Tisbury Lane
7. 杨千嬅 - 有过去的女人

hahaha i dont normally do tags man
but this one's easy and anyway
i honestly think that actually 7 isnt enough
like 'HELLO' how to choose TSK

and im a kind soul so im not gonna tag anyone
ok maybe one la, MY SIS
HAH! -.-

wow, what a long and dead entry
whats new

2006-06-21T14:23:00.000+08:00

cannonballed

2006-06-04T18:00:00.000+08:00

it takes only ten mins of having nothing to do in the van
with the engines off while letting me sleep a lil more before i leave for work
staring at cd covers and occasionally, at me,
to remind me of exactly how much she loves me

i love my mum
though i admit she's the reason behind my swearing and cursing sometimes
but still, HAR!

and yes, ive vanished for awhile
work yo people, WORK
and not to mention MY original lazy genes

somehow, coming online has been quite a chore for me
elaborations arent necessary so yeah

things have been going quite smoothly for me i guess
as long as i put it outta the picture
whoo

i cant wait for redang
i want a holiday
and i cant wait for school to start
though i still have 6 months to it
dreadful 6 months but oh well
at least its 6 months =))

2006-05-13T01:49:00.000+08:00

currently in 'tisbury lane' mood
the guitars are playing directly off my heart strings
and the song my sis just played on her phone for me isnt helping either

feeling rather off track all of a sudden
like its all sinking in once again
whats sinking in, i dont know
just overwhelmed by such feelings

nothing feels too hard to shy from
when you have words to build your facade upon
and a face as your most lethal weapon, most effective armor
against all the monstrousity around

and it fcuking sucks to always be a damn shadow
we all breathe the same air of a stench,
stand on the same land of mines
but why is geor always given the blind treatment
and noone sees just who she is
she's just a cover of many many people around

whoa, thanks for all the attention man,
if thats what i deserve then i'd rather do without em
i believe ill feel more of my own presence that way
i really will, it'll be easier to convince myself at least

She greets the day with her hair wet
She asks them to vacate the building
Because she's got a plan they don't know yet
And if it goes wrong, there'll be no one to see

If she could just get the word out
God knows she's trying
They're watching her with eyes closed
She's always stuck with the old route
Does anyone knock when they barge in to beat her down?

Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying for

No one can know just how she feels
She won't use the phone, she's too tired to pick it up
She's going back to the old way
She sits in the classroom to learn with the others

Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying for

Yeah
She lives on Tisbury Lane

tisbury lane - mae

2006-05-12T00:36:00.000+08:00

Hey Elizabeth I'm just a peasant school boy.
But I've been waiting a long time to hold your hand,
Or something like that.
I'm not a soldier and I'm not a king,
But I can play a mean guitar
And you can talk to me about almost anything,
Without worrying.

Cause I'm standing in my tin foil armor,
My dollar store broad sword is by your side.
And did Ronald break your heart when he called you ugly?
And can I hold your arm?

hello kelly - paper bag princess

these are just some of the cutest lyrics ive heard in ages
hahaha its stuck in my head

anyway, work has started at www
isnt exactly what i'd expect but aint too bad either
hahaha i know im hell fussy. sorry
and ive lost the fill-in-the-blanks to blog
oh man. im random nvm
when it all comes back

OH and my dog looks like a white mice now-.-
except for his bigger ears and longer legs
hahaha poor boy

ok, my neck is giving me quite abit of a problem now
ciaociao

2006-05-09T01:23:00.000+08:00

geor is in her very own summer
her moods has their very own seasons too

it was winter way back, cold and all
then came spring, wasnt all that pretty cuz of DAMN global warming.
(yes, geor's moods are affected by global warming too. HAR!)

i hope summer stays for good, at least long enough?

so WWW did call me in the end!
HAR! i cant even tell how relieved i am now really
alls good the way it seems and im happy

MI3 tmr yo and new glasses!

contentment never came this easily
satisfaction never this overwhelming
just can wait to get over these awkward moments
the ones i know thatre still there

2006-05-04T22:34:00.000+08:00

just done with the durians i bought home awhile ago
and to all those who doesnt appreciate durians,
YOURE REALLY MISSING OUT YO
hahahaha. random

cant wait for MI3 with the mum next week
i was actually really tempted to see it yday with ken
but oh well, i promised me mum i'll watch it with her

redang this june!!!!!
i just hope everything pulls through and not, burst like bubbles
really hope miss XIANG can go though =/

was reading this book yday
'the vindication of the rights of woman' hahaha
then it suddenly dawned on me while serving coffee yday that i personally am quite a sexist too. ok not sexist, wrong word, but im like quite typical.

was serving a coffee and a tea to this couple. before i placed it on the table, i was wondering 'hey, the guy must be having the coffee and the lady, tea' apparently i was wrong. just had the mindset that coffee is something stronger thus, the guy having it while tea, the lady. yeahyeahyeah, what sorta crap theory aye? hahaha. but it just caught me by surprise

well you need a blue sky holiday
the point is they laugh at what you say
and i dont need no carrying on

yeah man
clear blue skies, fluffy white clouds and a scorching hot sun!
what my days are made of right about now
what more can i ask?
=))

woops, itunes is mad and hyper tonight
hot hot heat now yo
hahahaha

talk to me, dance with me here in the spotlight girl
talk to me, dance with me
youre the spotlight girl

2006-05-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

booksbooksbooks
lunchlunchlunch
joycelynhojoycelynhojoycelynho
speakersspeakersspeakers
not to mention toilettoilettoilet too

haha pardon me but i just feel like typing in threes tonight

neil gaiman ive long heard
now its time to read for myself to find out

exceptionally perky! hahaha
and i missed work today as usual. damn
gonna get hell from the unbelievable woman later im sure

ive been singing the whole time at home today!
somethings wrong with the brain
hahaha

-----------------------

2006-05-01T03:42:00.000+08:00

shouldve known and trusted my instincts
but everyone has a cow side i guess
mine chose to surface at the wrong time
removed the previous entry
it. just. sounded. too. impulsive. for. my. own. good.

the severity of this whole issue on my side of the story has been overlooked since day one

cheers people cheers
all that you guysve been waiting for
finito

this is where i draw the line of retreat

ouchouchouchouchouch

2006-04-30T12:49:00.000+08:00

i had this really regular customer leaving last night
miss cynthia we call her
she's the nicest thing around, at least for as long as i worked
apparently she's going home, back to the states, for good
i felt quite damn sad though
i mean we all were, xixi(LOL) and i

then i realised miss j's leaving sometime in aug too-.-
though its rather different but HEY!
ive never had a close friend leave, yet.
yes j, geor sees u as a close friend. hows that.
oh well =/

geor is too emotional for her own good, on all sorta stuff
whoa, just where the heck do all these energy come from man
but i think it makes me more sensitive, not over-sensitive i hope lol
people like me are best not left alone
cuz they need an outlet for all the affections inside
tsktsk. perhaps i sld just shower em on me dog hahaha
ok that sounded kinda depressing. hmmm

i miss people but im lazy to type em all out
guess who? hahahaha
and my sis is blowing bubbles
now the whole house is filled with em hahaha
bubbles oh bubbles
see how they burst at touch and
i cant help but think of all the if only's
woooooo. feel the love yo.
hahahahaha

look at u, fleeing to the otherside
aint no reason to hide
i shock at the way u handle it
cuz girl you can have it so much better
by choosing to look at things from a different light
friends, such a big and pretty word
im satisfied with it, seriously
whats the point in making something as simple so complicated right?
chill with it la
wooohooo

cramps are such bitches
they ought to be shot and thrown into exile
then again, they come back every month-.-
gah, i want speakers!
random at its height once again
heh -pokes whoever

.

2006-04-29T00:58:00.000+08:00

醒来只有我一个人
分不清黄昏或清晨
空气微冷有甚么在流逝慢慢降温
一颗心往下沉

毕竟只是太短的梦
彼此终于退回陌生
我加上你两个人并不等于我们

你想我吗会偶尔想我吗
是这样吗飞扬的会落下
你爱我吗如果诚实回答
可是爱也不是解答

你知道吗我心快要溶化
是这样吗压抑的会爆发
你爱我吗爱我就懂我吗

告诉我善意的谎话
告诉我善意的谎话
好让我相信我不是太傻

王力宏 - 两个人并不等于我们

its a sad lil song on a quiet friday night
OH. my line is cut!!!
gah. means no outgoing calls nor sms -.-
want my life?!

so there goes my pay for this month
SPLENDID

eradicate the optimism geor
ok, theres not any left actually hahaha
so thats a good thing
www hasnt called me
is that a sign? im sadded. hahaha
oh well.

my throat wouldnt stop being a bitch and im coughing my lungs out so i think i sld just head to bed. or something else.

zzzzzz

2006-04-28T02:18:00.000+08:00

facing the music
barely breathing

-----------------------------

2006-04-28T00:23:00.000+08:00

somewhat smooth day with lil hiccups here and there
but everythings still fine, i guess
szengee-ed, van-ed, leen-ed and yx-ed
oh badminton-ed and 85-ed too

i think im damn clumsy
and i look really unglam most of the time
hahahahaha. DAMN

im absolutely dry on what to blog about
im just wasting this space
cuz its mineminemineminemine.
HMMMM

suave?
yeah right j, SURE
haha. lovelove still though =)

keep it all to yourself
im keepin it all to me

2006-04-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

though you try your best to stay afloat,
sometimes u just cant help but find all efforts seemingly futile against the world, when youre alone

today was actually good in all
but mother just had to wreck it
she has no idea how big an impact her words have on me
despite the fact that she's just saying em outta pms or whatever
im heartbroken

im at the height of my randomness
and suddenly im having heart spasms
great. all at a time. WHOO!

Back and forth that voice of yours keeps me up at night
Help me search to find the words that eat you up inside
I go side to side like the wildest tides in your hurricane
And I only hide what is on my mind because I can't explain

What if I do love
What if I don't?
I'd have to lose everything just to find you
What if I do love
What if I don't
I'd have to lose everything just to find you

It's my turn this solo burn so throw me in the fire
Trophies earned and lessons learned, my wicked little lies
We can pave new roads with the cold creed stones,
wind them through the pines
Should I stay or should I go alone?
I cannot decide

foo fighters - what if i do

today marks the 64th
i hope itll all stop at the 100th
slightly more than a month left, geor you can do it
i mean, u dont really have a choice do u?
hmmm no, u dont

----------------------------------------------------

2006-04-26T00:39:00.000+08:00

today mustve been one the worse day by far
i cant believe the extent it went but yeah
i need to like do something about my luck!
pantang! haha

supression's the new in!
i deserve the best actress award man.
supporting actress though, never the main nor lead
thats for sure.

tell me why ive this uber strong gut feeling that i wouldnt get the job tmr. hmmm. lady luck have just been missing me so much lately, i dont even dare to think about it. its ok geor, if they dont take you, ITS THEIR LOSS. heh.

cuz you gave me the best mixtape i have

2006-04-25T13:42:00.000+08:00

for a moment i thought i was on the fast track to smiles
took me a lil longer than i should to realise its otherwise
better late than never i guess
what doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger

was on the verge of some serious confession
but the idea of lettin my heart get to my head once more,
all the unbearable consequences and
names i'd have to bear killed all that was there
ignorance is bliss i figured
just dont be too surprised if one day you realise,
what hold u actually have of me

we are just similarly different people
similarly different

and in case anyone thinks im talking bout my basic test, its not aye.
i wouldnt make something as small sound so grave
and im way past the test anyway.
i can jolly well just retake it =)

feeling uber guilty now for all the profanities i shot about my mum
was just upset by the mother's comments
she never fails to put me way down
and it hurts most to know those comments were from her
but still, i adore her larr
she's the cutest thing and i love her to bits
i'd do my best to make her proud
seriously, one day, i will
i promise to try and we all know i dont make promises, anyhow

=))

its time for D1 now
off to marina square
hahaha.

heaven should never have felt this cold
blessings never this disguised
but no guise is too hard to be under now
when u find yourself helplessly,
a victim of obsession in an overseen calamity

-------------------------------------------------------

2006-04-25T00:43:00.000+08:00

my entry just got deleted LIKE THAT. GAH
nvm, i can still vividly remember what i said.
hahahaha

feeling ultimately perkier now though
JOKEBOX WANNA BE HOW SWEET LA
heartsheartshearts

was having an untimely headache
but apparently, its gone. i wonder why. hmmm
yet to study for basic! pls dont fail tmr geor. hahaha

and i was saying i feel very much like garnish lately
like accessory sorta, though i know i make the worst but still
feel uber outta place, in the crowd. dont ask why.
just feel damn extra.
wo bu zhi dao. only van will understand i guess. hmmm.

i was suddenly reminded of the '10 things i hate about you' movie
therefore i listed 10 things down BUT, since the entry's gone,
i shall not list it again. that was a sign man, thank goodness it didnt publish
being too cheesy is bad for health you see. heh.

and this whole entry actually sounded sorta depressing earlier,
but saph made my day!
i can start writing now!

thanksthanksthanks
lovelovelove
heartsheartshearts

u made geor feel the love around yo LOL
and not as transparent as she felt
=))

xie xie ni
arigatou
thank you
gracie
terima kasih
mm goi
gam sia

2006-04-24T09:53:00.000+08:00

moods were on some serious turbo swing yesterday
crappyness worked its way from early morning till late at night
i got my one star at least, for kayaking
oh, and a slight tann too. =))

so everyone's starting school
noone will have time for geor!
i guess ive been quite a bugger lately
getting people to meet me, not wanting to stay home
now ive landed myself in a damn fix
guess ive to survive on ken then?(sounds damn wrong i know)
but i dont wanna be so dependent on her either
when her school starts, then ill seriously be in shit aye

tmr's basic and i cant even find my textbook
GREAT! geor is ever as smart. GAH.

they say absence only makes the heart grow fonder
somehow i hope it isnt true, or we'll never get an end to this
though i think neither presence nor absence's gonna make a difference
since its the mind calling the shots,
wrecking and making my days
but ive to say im still enjoying everyday wrecked/made

mood/inspiration-less.
its been this way for many days
i think my brain has died.
gah. ciaociao

2006-04-23T02:55:00.000+08:00

was having a conversation with ken and realised our differences.
like the way we perceive stuffs and how we handle it.

i mean, some people(like yours truly), would go on and on ranting, blowing your ear drums away with all thats buggin me. at least all that i feel is ok for you to know. things that i wouldnt embarrass myself with of course. then there're people, who has somewhat evolved with time, in the sense that they figured going on blowing about all the shit in life is redundant. might as well just shhh and settle it on a less attention-seeking note. only speaking about or bringing it up when the time is right or when they really feel the need to talk.

perhaps noone has realised this yet but yeah, im actually the sort who needs to give whoever an earful about whatever shit/fun/hearts im going through. i need, ok i WANT to let people know. not cuz i want them to feel sad for me or require special attention from them. but it just always feels better when u talk about it. regardless of whether the matter is of importance or not, emo-fying or heartshearts. i just think its important. i can tell basically anyone about my life now. the reasons why im upset and the causes behind my smiles. how inferior a person i am. how i really think bathing twice a day is a waste of time.(and so i dont, HEH) i would even tell you whats been making my heart skip beats and why it goes on a spasm spree every now and then BUT, for some reasons, i just cant. SOME REASONS. haha.

then again, besides my sis, i barely let that side of me show. one reason maybe being that i know she wouldnt judge me. honestly, even if she does, i dont give a damn. haha. other reason being that i figured everyone's prolly having shit a piece of time of their life too and i wouldnt wanna be such an asshole to make em listen to my nonsensical ramblings. thats why unless they bother asking, i would shut up. BUT SOMETIMES, when i cant control myself, ill intentionally drop hints or talk in a way whereby theyll have no choice but to ask. LOL. im so sorry if i ever did that to u. i couldnt help it. hahahahaha.

i know i sound FOS now and it prolly doesnt make much sense
but if theres someone out there who's in my shoes,
im damn sure you'll immediately get what i wanna say
and if one day geor goes on and on buggin u about your life, be glad and not annoyed.

it only means geor cares for you.
cuz she assumes everyone around her thinks the same.
that theyre just actually secretly waiting for people to show interest in their life before theyre willing to open up. perhaps geor's the only one thinking this way but well, lets just allow her to be in denial. hahahaha.

and sorry for sucha chunky entry
its 3plus and my brain's in a knot now
cant exactly think straight, thus talking in such incoherent fashion

kayaking later at 930!
i think its doomsville for me tonight. as in during the PM.
im gonna be how tired?! insomniac on the loose!!

and superwoman's repeating in my head now.
WTH?!

zzzzzzz

2006-04-22T00:45:00.000+08:00

i think im going cao ge crazy
cuz ive been playin and playing and playing and playing his songs
oh my, AND SO IS ME SIS hahaha

i guess the late nights are wearing me out
im exhausted, totally. drained.
brain's been working unnecessarily and the thought of work tmr is like zzzzzzzzz. GAH.

nvm, im good. geor's good now
NO EMO MONSTER
and i really really really wanna catch a show
like REALLY, its been ages man
soon and if u realised, geor has no inspiration to blog AT ALL.
things she wants to say, are put in the simplest words in her mind right now so, cant let the whole world know what she's thinking what right. so she'll shut up. and she's not even makin sense now. songs are just still bestfriends. speaks/sings your mind. aww.

sadly, no bestfriend tonight.
and i need to go play maria now so yeah,
laters. =))

thudthudthud

2006-04-21T19:47:00.000+08:00

i guess this would be the best time to blog
before the birth of another dispute over the reign of this damn lau kok kok com

and so the day started out pretty bad
like i said, i absolutely cannot tolerate working with stupid people
i know i sound damn mean but i was THIS pissed earlier
i'd rather busy myself to death than to clear up all the shit
ok, maybe he's not stupid but yeah, definitely lackin a whole lot of common sense up there. GAH. how am i supp to survive tmr night workin with him?!

off for some haircuttin then fishfishfish
i pray your guppies survive as long as they can jokebox
which reminds me,
ali and ahmad has 2 guppies each.
ali overfed 1 guppy while ahmad underfed 1 guppy.
BOTH DIED.
how many guppies do ali and ahmad both have now?
hahahahahahahahahah. damn lame! ok sorry -.-
the mention of guppies just reminds me of pri school math

ok, i really think i oughtta get going now
running late, ciaociao

2006-04-18T23:50:00.000+08:00

And I know I've always
Just been a friend
But if you look my way
I'll make sure you never hurt again

Do you know I exist
Just to promise you this
Endlessly to be true to you
And if you answer my prayer
I'd cross my heart and I'd swear
Endlessly to be true to you

And if you'd only see
How beautiful you and I would be
Endlessly

I remember when you fell in love
I could not believe
That it was not with me
I sent a secret prayer up above
And put my heart away
So that you could be free

I know right now, You're broken in two
But did you know my heart's been
Broken since the day I met you

B4-4 - Endlessly

im sorry to anyone allergic to sappy songs
cuz ive been rather hooked on em lately
woops

mahjong and some tiramisu making tmr
then THURSDAY yo haha
oh well, though im pretty broke
but gah, lets just put that at the end of the list for now

haven been out with u like that for ages i realise, tata sauce
meet again this weekend maybe? i MIGHT stay. haha

there're just so many things sometimes that words alone can never quite just say it all. but what else is there to show when words are all ive got? when nothing else's allowed in a game for two, as such. a game of riddles and facades, i play my own.

see, toldya i was born deprived.

feelings that i cant disguise
damn, this sure is slow suicide

-------------------------------------

2006-04-18T15:28:00.000+08:00

its been raining alot lately
rainy days slow things down for geor
and makes her feel more at ease
in other words, she loves wet days
hahahaha

im home, after work(DUH)
and, CLOWNDIK DAMN HAPPY FOR GWYN AH!
YOU PASSED TP!! hahahahahaha
which reminds me, my BASIC's this 25th
im not even at my basic, how sad la

j-ed for lunch. hahahaha
sorry, i know i was damn annoying
hahahaha, insisted on coming home when i was at her place alr
LAZY LAR but yeah,
ure making me think/dream of HK and THAILAND ah
THANKS DUDE-.-

im really damn sleepy but no, i cant sleep
ive to go get ready now, meetin ta highness later
im feelin absolutely bad/guilty for pulling so many disappearing stunts on her AND, i miss her la. SEE THIS TA, good enough to appease u? im really really sorry for the past few times, seriously. =/

geor's new theme song
new addiction, DAMN SAD VIDEO too
hopeless LOHMANTIK ah
hahahahahahahaha

Behold this night, still and clear
You look here just like an angel sleeping
I wish I could ease your fears
I would catch the diamond tears you're weeping
In your eyes I would hide
By your side I could defy
The forces tearing us apart
But reality, as it seems
Looking back, is that our dream
Was fated from the start

Girl we're star-crossed and can't escape
We're condemned and can only wait
At this time now it's far too late
To save us from our fate

I'll remain in your hold
Body, mind, heart and soul
As long as I breathe
Though consequence takes its toll
All is out of our control
That's how it will be
So close your eyes my young bride
Listen to me one last time
There's something I have to say
When your faith turns to despair
Always will my love be there
And never fade away

Girl we're star-crossed and can't escape
We're condemned and can only wait
At this time now it's far too late
To save us from our fate
You can't save us
You can't save us

Girl we're star-crossed and can't escape
We're condemned and can only wait
At this time now it's far too late
The poison's in our veins
It's true
You know that I'd die for you
You know that I'd die for you

Ash - Star-crossed

living in a compromise

2006-04-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

sian balls
van shit just left not too long ago
just wanna drive my dog mad ah pls LOL
he started digging ON THE FLOOR. hahahaha
WTHECK man

so shatec-ed again today and submitted all the necessary forms
paid the stupid $50 registration fees(damn UNnecessary really)
so i guess im really headin there? sigh. oh well.
i have to admit im relieved i finally have a place to attend. then again, i really dont quite know what else to feel after. gah

saw this dead baby bird today, ant-infested
nothing about how sad or grossed out i mightve felt
i was just, well, really embarrased by the sight of it
and i thought about whatever i was in,
all the thoughts ive been drowning myself with.
the honesty of the bird left my mind speechless, if u know wad i mean
so no more wallowing in self-pity or whatsoever
nonononononono

choices i made on my own, and for all that comes along with it,
its high time i learn to bear
so lets face the music y'all hahahaha.
i was depressed really, i am still but,
everything takes time and im still planning to take my own sweet ones-.- i just wouldnt get as rahrahrah/ouchouchouch as i did alr i guess, try not to at the least. i wouldnt wanna find myself a pain in the butt for others. all the diff position and all that.i really dont wanna get there, ever again.

ok, im supp to call ah ken now yo
hahahaha but before i go,

CLOWNDIK n JOKEBOX saves the day yo
FIGHT THE EMO!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
lame shit

----------------------------------------------------

2006-04-17T08:19:00.000+08:00

woke at 7, amazingly
just couldnt put my mind to rest
the constant beeping of the phone wasnt exactly helping either
=/

but no, im not gonna allow doomsville a second chance
emo monstrosity aint sucking geor back to the pool
one night of heart-spasms is more than enough
(ta, i found a new name for it, heart-spasms,
no more someone-squeezing-your-heart, at least less retarted. lol)
HELLO! ONE NIGHT PLEASE!
i couldve died of HEART SEIZURE OK?!
NEVER BEFORE YO?! never thought i would either la-.-

and i never quite felt as stupid/dumb/retarded/idiotic/airhead/bimbo/pissed. i'm plain stupid i swear, wasting stupid time thinkin of stupid things that makes me feel so stupid at the end of the stupid day. someone/something mustve kidnapped my brain! die. my pea of a brain is gone.
but who really cares for a peabrain, anyway. -pokes

its really wrong to be feeling so hyper, this early
tonight sure drained like mad, ok not tonight, LATER.
my perkiness is making me worried, hmmm
and my stomach's kinda producing some sorta cry now
i think its trying to tell me im hungry? shit
foodfoodfoodfoodfood

optimism can really either make or break you
for me, i guess it'll only serve to break an already broken geor
wait, on a second thought, i think it already has
oh well. can anyone figure what geor is feeling now?
prize given to the right guess! =))
RANDOM, SORRY. hahahaha.

ok, chinese song overdose time
cantonese song i mean.

当这感觉未发生
不知道你光临
我大概还可继续散心
无奈我的心不经意着了灯
为得不到的吸引
令我不纠缠亦不忍

当他平访在你身
才想到我是好友永远没权力去伤感
忘记受过伤害施舍最假的爱
也会令我肯相信这段感情避不开
忘记如何忍耐但期待一夜之间醒过来
我和你便已如恋人热爱

想想一世待你好不需要有出路
那是我唯一快乐其实期望未算高
不拥抱便跌倒付出的都不苦恼
被爱的当然未知道
好即使我未够好
连哭一声抖不配你便提示我怎做

忘记受过伤害施舍最假的爱
也会令我肯相信这段感情避不开
忘记如何忍耐但期待一夜之间醒过来
我和你便已如恋人热爱

lin feng - wang ji shang hai

facades for sale

2006-04-15T18:49:00.000+08:00

no work at all in the end, right
i guess its good in a way
caught up with lost sleep and whatever comes along with it

kayaking tmr
everyone's gonna be there i realised
i. feel. weird.
hmmm, that sounded wrong, pardon me
oh well

shit, im feeling sleepy again, gah
zapzapzapzapzap

its 7 now aye
wonder if it rained in the east
like EAST EAST hahahaha
PLS DONT RAIN TMR
cuz im supposed to be psychic!

zzzzzah off to terrorise

我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
i would climb the highest mountain
i would swim the deepest sea
就算要我上天下地
我什么都愿意为你
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就算世界与我为敌我也愿意
我什么都愿意

what you get when i listen to chinese songs
hahaha woops

---------------------------------------

2006-04-15T00:35:00.000+08:00

=))

'nough said

2006-04-13T10:36:00.000+08:00

woke up and found myself in foreign lands today
haven quite felt this way in ages, maybe never
a bittersweet kinda thing
neither here nor there
ive never liked anything im unsure of
as in the way youre clueless what it is
amazingingly this time, its giving me flutters 'stead of the shudders

know how when u listen to particular songs
and the pretty pretty strumming of the guitars?
its like theyre strumming on your heart strings literally
or when the piano hits notes high as ever
you find yourself lifted by it
the weird lil butterflies they say ud get but u never quite believed?
then suddenly you find yourself with no reasons not to

its pretty dangerous the way it makes u look slightly demented
as you smile silly to yourself on the bus/train, anywhere
over stuffs so silly youve never imagined you would
perhaps gaiety comes with only the silliest, most simple things afterall

then outta the blue, your playlist churns out a now-emo song
now-emo being it making you emo only now, never before
cuz the song has never mattered to you
just lately when you realise what it means to somebody else
vicious cycle really, how u feel the ouchouch cuz as u listen
you think of how ouch it makes/made somebody go/went

this is the phase im going through
the foreign state ive landed myself in
the phase when youre not bothered by whats gonna happen
well, not exactly unbothered, just isnt important yet i guess
cuz u already know whats next
and you just dont wanna get there
lengthening as much as you can, the shelf-life of whats going on now
cuz as unfamiliar as the feeling youre having,
youre loving every bit of it, well, almost every bit

hmm. i understand this entry is rather corny to most of you
geor is a hopeless-FillInTheBlanks. hahaha
its early and pls dont rain, for today at least
ok, how bout the rest of this week. haiya

oh and i dont understand,
WHY CANT I SLEEP TILL AS LATE AS I USED TO?!
this is damn sad ok, like seriously
im tired laa. GAH

2006-04-12T14:06:00.000+08:00

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm heading for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

matchbox 20 - unwell

i think ive been acting weird lately
thinking oddly
cuz of the weather, probably
then again, it could just be me

WAH and the damn dog stinks BIG TIME
poor boy, ill bathe u soon
like SOON

2006-04-12T01:14:00.000+08:00

geor's happy cells are dying, for tonight
feeling drained all of a sudden
its all wearing me out slowly
nvm, an early night will prolly save the day

i found new love today, yet again
haha. some tong en person
wah, her song's like shiokus
and she's gorgeous, TO ME ONLY though
hahaha. but its alright
hmmm

I wish that I could take a journey through your mind
And find emotions that you always try to hide babe

im dangerously outta my mind right now
and to prevent any damage caused to anything/anyone
i should head to bed, NOW

2006-04-10T12:12:00.000+08:00

i pronounce demented/sad/bitter/angry songs and geor, partners for life.
for better or worse
till death do they part

its easy thinking and feeling AND finding the so-called hurt in you.
but nothing accentuates the pain as well as my partners do.
occasions like these, with the sky all gloomy and home all alone,
they make the bestest friends.

im not being emo
im not attempting to make myself become emo either
just overwhelmed by the sudden realisation why everyone still prefers sadsadsad songs to happy ones

cuz they never fail to get u right there
even when ure feelin all high and chirpy
cuz nothing hits u more strongly and knocks u over more than feeling that, (in ta's words) someone-squeezing-your heart feeling.

and its nice to feel that way, every once in awhile
cuz nothing gets more real than that
the way it chokes all the air right up there
and u going, 'shit, i think my lungs and heart are mating'
cuz they feel all tangled up
after which, u start to feel ur very own presence, that u are indeed actually here and not just drifting around in ur everyday

wah, 2nd entry of the day in 3hrs. lol
wtheck hahaha oh and right,
i know i sound a lil sick in the mind sometimes
and i make it sound like im sucha emotionally unsound person
i hope i wouldnt come off as too much of a scare to u guys
cuz im not, i just tend to think alot on stupid things,
that matters to me, somehow, sometimes
hmmm just rather emotional la
and for once, finally, im proud to say this out loud.

'today, i cried.'

----------------------------------

2006-04-10T10:14:00.000+08:00

so no work in the end
down with a temp, flu and whatever that comes along with it

lethargic and stoned
brain's not working the way it should
cuz if it is, i wouldnt be up at such unearthly hours
starving but yeah, guess ill hafta wait all the way to 2 before theres food.

was nice talkin to u really
though its been ages we last had sucha long proper conversation
was even nicer hearing u play after so damn long!
AND correcting my eng, as usual. lol
as much as i know youre the only one i can $#*&$@% to,
u can always call me u know
for your coming next 3 weeks at least
just dont call at the wrong time aye? haha
i feel bad for the previous few incidents =/
and ya la ya la, geor still loves you la
dont worry so much about stuffs
TRUST ME MAN. i think itll work out just fine, really =))

i feel like rambling on and on now hahaha
no, not sad stuffs nor emo shit
just ramble happily on and on BUT
we all know a blog is too public for geor's happy ramblings
and, she doesnt wanna end up sounding too corny or whatsoever
scaring everyone away, like yoo hoo so yeah
hmm. this entry is damn long and stupid
like wth am i talking about?

sorry, ive no clue to it either. HAR.

Oh would it mean anything, if you knew
What I'm left imagining
In my mind, in my mind
Would you go, would you go
Kiss the rain

stuck-in-the-head song for the moment

2006-04-08T01:57:00.000+08:00

lets talk about geor's emotions today how bout it.
i seriously think that my moods/feelings/emotions actually have a life of their own.
its like a separate living thing within me.
they come and go as they please, leaving me with numerous highs and countless lows.
most importantly, theyre manipulatively disturbing.

anyway, they decided to be nice today and made geor a really happy kid
until it started getting late, they were worn and gave geor hell of a time
not that geor cant manage on her own but she just started thinking all of a sudden,
'who will be the one to hold me, the night the sky falls down?'
evan and jaron does this to people every once in awhile i guess
and yes, i listen to them. haha.

oh and in case youre wondering, no im not emo, seriously
just startled by that thought i had. =))
sometimes, u just cant help but wonder bout things like that
my brain works really hard at such ridiculous issues so yeah.
basically i just spend alot of time thinking of frivalous stuffs
though i know there're many more things that deserves my attention
maybe im just a born thinker. haha.
i make myself sound so intelligent on such stupid issues

anything i say about you would be an understatement
you have me at a loss for words, completely
i'd call this the perfect standstill
the way how things will only remain the way it is
i guess im just easily contented? lol
proliferation of the hearts

2006-04-06T20:12:00.000+08:00

feelin exceptionally sleepy this thurs evening or rather, night
i think ive yawned 156741 times and still counting
oh goodness but its too early for me to sleep

stayed home whole of the day, most of the day at least
went to the docs with the sister
she's got a weird crackling knee. yuck.
i totally detest/fear such bone related matters. -shrugs
had lunch then some dvd renting before coming home
to sit in front of the com, bitching and laughin dumbly at people.
we're meanies i know, we dont deny. hahaha.
wad makes u think we're not laughed at ourselves. tsk.
then 'alfie'-ed away. quite a waste of time actually, the movie i mean
but alls good. the staying home part and all.
but im curious why i always feel like sucha retard in front of my sis
hahahaha. nvm.

laters. im sure ill be back.

2006-04-05T01:21:00.000+08:00

and we all wonder how much it takes to make geor's day
its as simple as this and as straightforward as that

i think im even gonna smile in my sleep
i dunno why.
i think im high, on air.

=))

2006-04-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

boo.
where art thou, my superwoman.

that song's been on a playin marathon since 11 last night.
now isnt it obvious why geor is on a superwoman frenzy?
blame it on tv.
blame it on zhiyang.
blame it on cao ge.
blame it on geor.

2006-04-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

its been quite awhile since ive last had Mr fall-outta-love-vibes come banging on this heart-of-a-door of mine. its quite amusing, on the fact that ive never even been in any sorta love of late. not literally, at least. oh well, what the brain and your cardiovascular shit thing does to you is really way outta explaination sometimes, i just have to admit.

and geor has this really great imgaination all the time, for all kinda things. (*note, imagination, not creativity.lol) thus, she thinks so so much, that she mixes up reality and this mini land of her own. perhaps thats why she's able to lie so fluently all the time about all stuffs big and small. now we know why geor lies w/o even ever blinking. ok, maybe not regarding all stuffs la huh. come to think of it, this's quite sad right. tsktsk. nvm. im rambling away brainlessly. THEN AGAIN, this mini land of my own acts quite well as a comfort zone too. ok, overshare of random shit. HEH.

candice ah dear candice,
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!
hahahahaha. ken and i are rotting our arses off
and we're bored shit. i just need to rant.
PARDON ME.
and for the sake of being random
i cant put a stop to the superwoman song.

you are my superwoman. lalalalala.

anyway, guess im seeing the slightest form of color from the mixture of green and red. its a brand new color, one i doubt anyone has ever deciphered. as much as i'd like to deny, it spells..

friend

=/

2006-04-01T00:41:00.000+08:00

mr keith urban is keepin me up
just wanna pull me back to doomsville
sad sad song on a sad sad night and u get a sad sad geor

so the night pries into my deepest and darkest thoughts
touching on stuffs ive been turning my back on all these while
even the state of denial fails u sometimes
and when it hits, its like ouchouchouchouchouch
i just cant believe the plight ive gotten myself into.
emo wave tonight? yeah, just for one night
all will be gone by the break of dawn, no?

what do u get when u mix green and red?

zilch.

2006-03-31T13:11:00.000+08:00

wearily happy
unspeakable source of smiles

proliferation of the hearts

2006-03-28T22:50:00.000+08:00

so its 1050 now and im surprisingly sleepy
so, perhaps as some people mightve predicted, i missed the movie today. had to go meet pb cuz she said she missed me. LOL. damn turn-off of me to say that but yeah, hahaha. i was damn turned-off too. i WILL watch it though. next week i guess cuz there isnt much time left for this week.

i was stoning earlier when suddenly some of my thoughts punched me right in the head. ok, not punched, its nothing emo, just left me startled thats all. theyre just thoughts not heavy enough to sway geor back to emo land. ive had enough of monstrous emo-nosity. i figured it kills my happy cells and the people around me. hahaha. but i honestly have been feelin rather happy and ive absolutely no clue where all that energy's coming from. lets just hope it'll last through this week or at least, the next two days? heh

OH! i just have to say this. the guy at kbox toapayoh, the manager or some shit, is really damn huge a bitch pls. ill spare everyone the details though, being the kind geor i am. RAH.

details details details details.
talk about details, i think i look into them too much i track outta the large picture all the time. thats not very nice but then again, without details, everything's sucha bore isnt it? ok, im being random again. woops.

unexpectedly comfortable, uncomfortably pleasing

2006-03-28T01:03:00.000+08:00

geor was mocked and she's not feeling right about it
thus, she's gonna embark on a see-a-movie-alone trip tmr
hopefully there'll be tickets tmr by the time i get there
and in case ure thinkin of how easy it is to spite geor, youre wrong
its just some of the great-to-be philosophies that geor has thats buggin her.

and this entry is just for ken lim cuz she has really hit the spot. rah. -bites

2006-03-27T21:30:00.000+08:00

so there's finally a rainy day, after so long.
i just love weathers like today's
its the sort that makes u feel like doing nothing but snuggling in bed with the lights turned low and being serenaded by your 'rainyday' playlist. all u can think of are happy thoughts and even dream happy dreams yo. hahahaha. dont you just love this weather?

SADLY, geor just had to work today.
literally dragged myself outta bed this morning and when i say drag, i really mean DRAG. even my body was protesting violently against it. it made me cut and scald myself at work. it was basically geor, the stoner, at work this morning. but oh well, we all know i can and should NEVER defy my wonderwoman of an aunt. consequences are totally unbearable.

im absolutely in love with this stephen speaks song i stole from j earlier. like omg. it makes me THIS happy when i listen to it. my heart beats faster with every note played. every word of the song cant sound anymore real. like whoa. ok, i might be over-reacting and totally exaggerating to u guys, who might be reading but ya. i dont give two cents how stupid i sound now, ITS DAMN NICE. lol.

It's her hair and her eyes today
That just simply take me away
And the feeling that I'm falling further in love
Makes me shiver but in a good way
All the times I have sat and stared
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
And she purses her lips, bats her eyes
And she plays with me sittin there slacked jaw
And nothing to say

Coz I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Coz she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again

It's a masterful melody
When she calls out my name to me
As the world spins around her
She laughs, close her eyes
And I feel like I'm fallin but it's no surprise.
Coz I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Coz it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land
Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again.

It's her hair and her eyes today
That just simply take me away
And the feeling that I'm falling further in love
Makes me shiver but in a good way
Often times I have sat and stared
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
As she purses her lips, bats her eyes
And she plays with me sittin there slacked jaw
And nothing to say.

Coz I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Coz it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land
Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again.

out of my league - stephen speaks

im sorry i keep drwoing u guys with dumb lyrics.
im a sucker for them. right saph? lol

i sound happy dont i?
i think i am too. lol
dont bother asking me why, cuz im a selfish person. i wouldnt tell u. but it might just be cuz of the song that ive been playing on repeat since 2hrs ago. haha. my sis has been on my back about it.

'CAN U CHANGE IT?!' she's yelling.
too bad my dear. haha

days lit bright by a beaming tone of red

2006-03-25T01:49:00.000+08:00

tonight marks the end of geor's moping days
though its past 12, well..
lets just not be too particular for once aye? =))

and for whoever's info, the first three lines of this entry took me like more than half an hour to type. cuz i seriously cant multi-task for nuts, its sad. hahaha. today wasnt exactly all dandy for geor but yeah, was fun meetin up with saph and gwynie. though im terribly sorry to gwyn for being 7hrs late and to saph for being 2hrs late. whats new? heh. and before i forget, it was nice seeing good old ta for that pathetic 10 mins too.

fryday's come and gone. saturday has taken its place but where the hell's my sunday? i cant wait for the scorching sun. and being randomly random, it really doesnt take much to make me smile, even if its just for awhile. and i want my raisins now! anyone, buy me raisins now and ill love u for life. HAR! ok, thats too much. and noone's kind enough. ill just bless myself with them tmr, like BLESS really. heh.

I just don't understand
Why you're running from a good ~~man~~ baby
Why you wanna turn your back on love
Why you've already given up
See I know you've been hurt before
But I swear I'll give you so much more
I swear I'll never let you down
Cause I swear it's you that I adore
And I can't help myself babe
Cause I think about you constantly
and my heart gets no rest over you

You can call me selfish
But all I want is your love
You can call me hopeless
Cause I'm hopelessly in love
You can call me unperfect
But who's perfect?
Tell me what do I gotta do
To prove that I'm the only one for you
What's wrong with being selfish?

I'll be taking up your time
Until the day I make you realize
That for your there could be no one else
I just gotta have you for myself
Baby I would take good care of you
No matter what it is you're going through
I'll be there for you when you're in need
Baby believe in me
If love was a crime
Then punish me
I would die for you
Cause I don't want to live without you
Oh what can I do?

selfish - nsync

HAR gwyn, thats the 'selfish' song i was listening to by NSYNC sial.
now u know. haha. =))

2006-03-24T16:55:00.000+08:00

I heard this old story before
Where the people keep on killing for their metaphors
But don't leave much up to the imagination,
So I, wanna give this imagery back
But I know it just ain’t so easy like that
So I turn the page and read the story again
and again and again
It sure seems the same, with a different name
We're breaking and rebuilding
and we're growing
always guessing

Never knowing
We're shocking but we're nothing
We're just moments, we're Clever but we're clueless
We're just human, amusing and confusing
Were trying but where is this all leading?
We'll Never Know

It all happened so much faster than you could say disaster
Wanna take a time lapse and look at it backwards
Find the last one and maybe that’s just the answer that we're after
But after all we're just a bubble in a boiling pot
Just one breath in a chain of thought
We're moments just combusting
We feel certain but we'll never, never know
It sure seems the same, give it a different name
We're begging and we're needing
and we're trying and we're breathing

Never knowing
We're shocking but we're nothing
We're just moments, we're Clever but we're clueless
We're just human, amusing and confusing
We're helping, rebuilding and we're growing
Never Know

Knock, knock coming door to door
To tell ya that their metaphor is better than yours
And you can either sink or swim things are looking pretty grim
If you don’t believe in what they're spoon feeding
Its got no feeling so I read it again and again and again

never know - jack johnson

and u can either sink or swim, things are looking pretty grim
i just cant agree more
then again, things happen and we'll never never know
where is this all leading?
things feel certain?
but we'll never never know.

i grew up on spoon-fed nonsense i thought were real

2006-03-22T02:41:00.001+08:00

randomly random
angrily angry
impossibly impossible
disappointingly disapppointed
today was actually good to start with, rah

spare me a day or two more to get outta this damn phase
it sldnt take awhile really, and im sincerely sorry for whatever emo vibes that mightve been oozing off me lately. they're unhealthily contagious i know. and being my random self, i almost laughed out(for godknowswhat) when i saw the names on the tags. right. im only lacking by one name. ok, not very funny i realised after awhile, but im just too lazy to backspace the last two sentence typed so yeah.

anyway

xiang, ive no clue why i always talk in the third party manner. ure not the first who asked but yeah. somehow im sure it means something. ive just yet to figure it out. i will soon though, now that im reminded. and profound entry?! i think not, really. and u can call me too u know? hmm.

saph, hopefully ure at the centre of ur hurricane aye? everything just takes a lil gettin used to sometimes. geor's here for you too.

51, im awfully surprised u got here, really. and even more surprised u tagged. yes, i am who i think i am, i think. haha.

lup sup tang, how can i possibly not cheer up now, right? haha. uve no idea how great a help uve been, seriously. and i dont need all your time spareable, just a teeny bit will do. im not greedy like YOUR dearest ken. TSK.

pb ah, i feel so fortunate suddenly to have u stay so damn friggin near my place. maybe we sld just make it official, though uve done me wrong. haha. u chose a bin instead of me! sadly. RAH.

ta, i never saw this coming at all(not tryin to be rude ah). but now i know, i can always count on u. ok, maybe not ALWAYS. heh.

when words are mere understatements of whats in the mind,
thanks

2006-03-20T10:31:00.000+08:00

with everything to say but words just seem to make it seem too trivial a matter. it would just seem too insignificant for getting myself as shaken as i am. it would seem too insignificant, as insignificant as myself.

i hate the thoughts i think and fear the words i speak, whenever i hit this low. i shock at my very own self with every word that airs, put out in a fashion ive nv quite expected it to be. i feel like a 3 yr old tryin to get her damn ideas across the busy dinner table, where everyone's just rushing through the meal, cuz they just have too many things on hand to spare the poor kid a lil time. not even good old mama listens and all she does is, ' hurry finish up your food.'

its like screaming to a crowd turned deaf
its times like these that makes you feel so impossible every once in awhile. its like noone's free any longer to lend u a min or two(ok, maybe more) but ya.

and when u talk, u try ur best to steer clear of the topic thats been buggin u for GodKnowsHowLong just so u wun end up a conversation murderer and you go on seemingly enjoying yourself on things that u dont even know why u talk about. at the end of the numerous convos, u find yourself feelin even more empty than u were, before u started talkin silly. then you start to wonder, where has all your audience gone? and you find yourself reaching for the com unknowingly, seeking comfort in its company and the fact that u can rant all you want without having to worry for a proper reaction from the listener, probably just cuz you know well enough that people dont read it. and even if they do, noone would spare u an extra 30 seconds to even think of how ure doing, or even wonder what actually sparked you to create an entry as angsty as this one is.

we all know geor is a noisy child but looking at the way things goes,
perhaps, swimmin in your own thoughts is the best remedy
and silence might just then be the best company.

when existence only takes place in forms of shadows and figures

2006-03-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

our dear ken is having her ass glued beautifully to the stairs and eyes to the damn screen. she has absolutely no concern at all for her wonderful friend upstairs, who in this case, happens to be boring herself to bits.

v for vendetta is good, like quite, at least
im honestly damn tired now and im randomly random again
my eyelids are like weighing a ton this very moment
geor is like eternally chained to late nights man, pass me the keys someone pls

worked like bananas today and every inch of muscle/fats on my back are crying for help. suddenly, i feel 30 yrs older. hmm. on a second thought, i dont think i'd like to know whats gonna be of me 30 yrs down the road eh(ok, random peanuts again). im sure it wun take much of ur brain cells to know why i fear the thought, unless u dont quite know me at all. then again, who really knows me well enough anyway?

in a world of deceptions, i'm the cream of the crop

2006-03-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

i realised ive been coming back to this blank space for quite awhile
this can only mean that ive nothing to blog about
when actually, i had a dozen things to say,
a dozen things to say on a day where simply nothing happened

geor is random shit and she's bored out of her pea of a brain
she's still jobless and THIS desperate
she thinks she's balding, either from the lack of sleep OR
from the stress with the nearing of the end-of-month
she saw people she havent seen for quite awhile
she thinks they all look better and she's sorry for not being to meet joycelyn in the afternoon only to end up bumping into her during the evening

my mum was seriously breathing down my neck this morning about everything. i didnt think i could pacify her soon enough to leave the house safely by evening u see, so yeah. that explains.

as if a glass could contain the sea

2006-03-13T23:50:00.000+08:00

oh my, there was this lady at the 85 market just now
damn damn pretty like seriously
ya, thats all BESIDES the fact that the damn bak chor mee was closed

anyway, what makes your day? i mean it could be a simple gesture or whatever. a smile, an anonymous someone, basically anything under the scorching sun. a stranger on the sidewalk. a hidden msg in a random story? anything u can think of basically.

for me, an auntie cabby made my day, today
whats yours? =))

2006-03-11T08:16:00.000+08:00

argh, im being deprived of sleep man. roar
woke up to a blocked nose and a heavy head
so now, im staring at the damn com at such unearthly hours with dozens of wantons(tissues) infront of me. lol

somehow, i feel this's gonna be a really long entry.
hmmm. anyway, so it turned out to be like such a small matter
maybe she really should file for it on her own rather than just sit and wait aye. but i was damn pissed at the damn person-in-charge la, whichever title/position he's holding. does he have the damn right to yell at her. like hello, this is not a damn market for u to bargain and all. so now just wanna allow her to enter and then just yell like bananas at her la?! wtf, if i went in i'd make sure u get it from me man. whatever gives u the right to yell at my mum?!

and so she came out, all pissed, ranting but i could tell she was sore about something else instead. perhaps, the language barrier, i assume. i mean my mum cant really speak eng nor understand it very well. so ya. she mustve had a hard time facing the damn assholes with none of us around. short as the duration may be, she mustve felt intimidated. not by reasons, but by the form of communication and the cocky-ness in the nature of like SOME people. so just cuz she cant speak eng, ure gonna rip her off the chance to defend herself? so much for having an interpreter man. i'm pretty sure it'd end up the same.

anyway, mum isnt too happy with me now either
aint working, no income and she insists im going out too often
hmmm. i think ive been rather cranky
i could be all smiley and just hit rock-bottom the very next min
this's bad. i need a job to like, STABILISE myself or something? hahaha

interviews, gym(yeah right, lol), tann, work, psp, TENNIS(HAR!)
wah, everything mentioned above comes with a huge price tag well, except WORK of course. hahaha. ok, im starting to nod away alr. sigh. i need sleep, seriously.

2006-03-07T21:11:00.000+08:00

rah. second extraction within two weeks
was hurting so bad last night i missed my dear sleep
the next thing i know, -pooff- the tooth's gone at the dentist's
i suck man really, roar

so now i'm disabled on both sides which mean i cant really chew
great, whats for dinner man? and breakfast then lunch?
tell me all about it dammit
im hungry la pls oh my
haven eaten the whole day besides two wonderful slice of plain bread
and a cup of tasteless iced milo
well, if this sounds like a damn diet, ITS NOT!

and this one hurts damn bad man hmmm
ok, i can seek a huge ass comfort in one thing. heh
PSP! omg ta i love you! lol if i say i love steph too would it sound weird?
HAHAHAHA.

FOOD HUNTING AH.

2006-03-05T14:00:00.000+08:00

u gave me my life
yet u just have to be the one to ruin it
like your own being a wretched one isnt enough
i dont need a share in this man, not anymore

im just so fcukin sick of you and whatever that comes along with it, damn moron
it takes alot of effort to hate someone actually, but u make despising you easier everytime

ive done wad i was supp to and ive tried
so if u just wanna etch everything right after again,
then its time i spend the effort on something else worth keeping up to

u look like a damn freak everytime this happens
ur eyes feels absolutely empty
and it freaks us out, freaks me out
cuz u look like u were gonna whack the hell outta whatever

but i guess maybe thats all you're capable of,
taking it out on whoever in the name of alcohol
good one, really

im just so sick of trying and everything around
like everything just wanna come together man
first its school and now, its some bastard?

2006-03-03T13:51:00.000+08:00

was THIS close to bursting emo-meter last night
havent felt like this for damn long
everything was sinking in
everything about how i wasted my 2 yrs away
how i nv actually sat down and face it properly
all i had was my back to it, all the while

had every word you could think of to rant last night
but blogger just had to be kind to all of you
and gave me probs loadin the damn page and all
so everyone is spared from my ramblings
for they are all stacked neatly back in the shelves of my pea of a brain

for a moment last night, i really really felt the damn anger ive been bearing for myself. its kinda scary thinking bout it again now. =/

so poly, or private?
wait, will poly even take me back?
sigh

2006-03-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

Some people think they're always right
Others are quiet and uptight
Others they seem so very nice nice nice nice (oh-ho)
Inside they might feel sad and wrong (oh no)

Twenty-nine different attributes
Only seven that you like
Twenty ways to see the world (oh-ho)
Twenty ways to start a fight (oh-ho)

Oh don't don't don't get up
I can't see the sunshine
I'll be waiting for you, baby
Cause I'm through
Sit me down
Shut me up
I'll calm down
And I'll get along with you

Oh men don't notice what they got
Women think of that a lot
One thousand ways to please your man (oh-ho)
Not even one requires a plan (I know)

Countless odd religions, too
It doesn't matter which you choose (oh no)
One stubborn way to turn your back (oh-ho)
This I've tried and now refuse (oh-ho)

Oh don't don't don't get up
I can't see the sunshine
I'll be waiting for you, baby
Cause I'm through
Sit me down
Shut me up
I'll calm down
And I'll get along with you
Alright

you only live once - the strokes

saph, ur fault ah
send alr then now i play until my com's gonna start spitting the lyrics alr hahahahaha damn perky ah i think. cuteness man, i think my ipod will start moving to it.

ok, back to boredom now

2006-02-28T12:50:00.000+08:00

saw van in 9837518032 yrs
and of cuz her beloved permed hair lol
actually it isnt that bad la
after u look at it for some time
u just find yourself bursting out in laughter for the first 10 mins or so? lol

wah, that candy just wanna eat my money
kept going on and on and on about me losing
mahjong pantang sial HAHAHA
use toilet once also wanna collect money from me
drink water also wanna charge?! LOL
but damn funny i must say
thank goodness ken won money back from her
and she lost her mcdonalds happy meal
hahahahahaha. now we're talking about a huge mahjong crave here, i REALLY wanna play soon la. ive been losing enough, losing streak. roar

damn im hungry man and i dont want porridge alr la
zzzzzzzzz sian
oh ya, i missed this out yday
when the dentist was extracting my tooth
i itch-eyedly opened my eyes and
saw him take out the bloody blade and
saw him hold onto the thread meant to stitch my gums
now, i can even feel it drooping in me mouth
1, 2, 3 -gasps-

lol, i guess im the only one who'll get freaked out by that aye?
too bad man, im anti-dentists

food, i want/need food

2006-02-27T12:39:00.000+08:00

back from mr dentist
im still in my state of shock lol
half my face is numb now AND
i think im gonna sleep now
hahaha while waiting for our dear ken to call

rah, i cant swallow =/

2006-02-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

im itchng a little on my arms suddenly
and from the looks of it, i think im peeling soon
wth seriously, it rained on us yesterday during tanning
linda calls it rain-tanning, and im still lobster-ish LOL
wasted my THREE bucks dude

wad did i do today ah? OH, haha
had a haircut at fareast, klearcut
they just wanna make me wait for like 1.5 hours la
weird hair at the end of the day haha
since when do i not complain about it anyway

pirate saph ah, when will the sendsendsend session come?
im runnin low on options too alr lol

underworld: evolution
out next week, im gonna watch it
even if i peel like noone's business
even if i swell like bananas
gwyn, thats the 3million and 1 movie of mine

mondaybluesmondaybluesmondayblues

Blue lights are dancing around
And still I can't seem to find
The quiet inside my mind

2006-02-24T22:53:00.000+08:00

have i mentioned that i absolutely fear the dentist?
ok, i'm damn scared of them la
since primary school man
there was this nurse, oh my,
she just screwed my teeth and the impression i have for dentists upside down
therefore, i declare come monday, doomsday

visitin the dentist is alr horrifying on its own
its not making anything better when the clinic calls u to remind you,
remind you of the appointment u have and emphasising time and again
'remember that ure gonna have an op this monday ok?'
OP?! wth right?! wrong term used i swear
i dont wanna go la. pls pls pls pls pls pls pls
ok, i may seem like making a huge fuss over nothing BUT
i'm really scared of the mofo dentist laaa(though this's the nicest one ive ever met)
sigh. help with a capital H.

oh well, on a lighter note
tmr's sticker hunting day man hahaha
saph, my wallet damn sick now la
later hunt hunt hunt then i only can see sial, cannot touch
zzzzz hahahaha

and tanning in the morning with miss huang lol
dont be late ah woman, ill try no to on my part HAH
hopefully abit of pool squeezed in between hmmm
budget day geor, budget day

talk about pool man sigh
where's my pool kaki?
i guess its gonna be damn hard to get u out like i did before aye?
wah, those were the times man
i met u like, 35748257 times a week
pool pool pool till broke broke broke
hahaha bad i know
if i say its been going on for that long, wud anyone believe?
'rubbish geor', thats wad everyone'll think
blablablabla

But I've been unable
To put you down
I'm still learning things I ought to know by now
It's under the table so
I need something more to show somehow

2006-02-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

hk wasnt all that great afterall
and cuz ur trip is paid/subsidized, uve to play maria when u get home
WOW! fantastic!
rah hahahaha im high on air

oh and thanks to all who remembered the 16th
frankly, i really dont think im very much remembered at all
so no words are enough to say how sweet it was of u guys

my brain has been workin pretty furiously the past few days
maybe a t-shirt with no sweater on at 11degrees does weird things to it
hahaha strange weather there man but oh well

oh and i was just wondering, when u take a sudden interest in
wanting to understand someone u barely know better,
does that mean u fancy the person?
and if thats true, does it mean we only open ourselves to options/people
that we do not regard as close friends, reason being,
that there isnt anymore of the person for u to learn about,
nothing left to surprise u with, nothing of the mystery left to make u pry deeper

so does everything mentioned above remove the possibilty of falling for a friend?
as in when u think u have taken a liking for a friend, it means only to be a mistake in disguise
that u have mixed wad went into the right brain with the left,
simply being, that everything's just a confusion

well honestly, i cant help but admit i used to agree with that
now, i just have to think otherwise
ure not left with much of a choice cuz u finally realised that actually,
uve got both feet stuck in that kinda situation
that the strangest things doesnt just happen to weathers and chickens,
it happens to your very own self too

dammit, this spells bad
hmm oh well geor

2006-02-10T14:41:00.000+08:00

its 2.40 on my clock and like the past few days, i'm sitting in front of the com
staring, well, definitely very blankly and annoyed at the screen
noone's home. even if anyone was, it'd feels the same

i complain alot and thats a fact
and my dog stinks cuz i haven bathed it for 5 days
im not lazy, its just my mum
who prefers to bring it for grooming cuz she wants him shaved
saving me all the hassle so, why not?

i feel very much like going outdoors but..
stingy geor doesnt wish to spend money cuz she needs to save
therefore she hasnt met anyone in a million yrs
ok not exactly, i went to lin's hse last sat but still
i haven officially met anyone out for anythin in about a month or more?
record broken definitely, my record i mean

so damn lookin forward to next week though
i mean like i really wouldnt mind skipping the next 5 days man
yes, including valentines cuz a lonely one its gonna be haha
and after the trip, there'll most likely be nothing to look forward to
no i guess there is

its working towards saving enough for the bloody course i want
have been talkin for a yr and wasted it too
so now, pls geor, get down to it before u get ur butt kicked

ok, my mums reaching so its time i go get that cute ass perv shaved

2006-02-10T02:35:00.000+08:00

I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been

SoTake your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

keith urban - you'll think of me

some new song discovered from the grammys
country somemore haha
but pretty easy on the ears
nice haha

im bored staying home all day like seriously
i need things to do
and mahjong sounds really good hahaha
i sound like such an addict cuz i talk about it almost every entry
well, im just, bored

will be gettin a job soon though
sometime late feb i guess
-pokes eyeballs- dammit im fcuking bored
oops

2006-02-02T01:53:00.000+08:00

and how long have i not been here?
all thanks to edgy ta who refuses to talk to me cuz she thinks her time of the months nearing, im here
hahaha god knows how bored i am man
haven been out
haven been doing anything constructive
hmmm i think i should start

anyway, ive been watching this show lately
taught me to pay more attention to people around me, such as my mum
not that i haven been giving her enough attention
but not to the right things that i should have been
and of course, many other people too
thus my vegetating at home (words of j) hahaha

i mean i dun wanna just not wake up one day and regret not having done things i couldve
for people who are like so imp around me
and pls dont think i sound like an idiot or sound so corny
cuz god knows wad will happen the next min man
even DUCKS and CHICKENS get FLU la please
and and and dogs wear DIAMOND chains i cannot even afford
like wth la, so ya

His mother whispers quietly...
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love is just a hoax so forget anything that you have heard
And live for the moment now

spill canvas - the tide

2006-01-06T00:59:00.000+08:00

HAH! i love my sis. though she's a bit of everything i hate sometimes
hmmm but i think the new template's still lookin a lil odd
oh well, whatever =)

issit just me or issit true that there's this hermit flu running around?
cuz ive been feelin all sluggish and i-dont-wanna-meet-the-world thingy
still, i went out today haha
cuz amanda's back and so damn unfortunately,
she wasn present for today's dinner. big RAH
haha cuz she's sick

but was nice seein everyone, as usual
and isnt it fast? jiasheng's enlisting on saturday
like whoa, damn fast laa cannot accept ah haha
and they gossiped and bitched and what not
not quite used to going out in such a big group though

i wanna mahjong ah. sigh
no khakis.
anyone available???

oh and theres something that puzzled me today
why is there always this sense of satisfaction when we have knowledge on something that others have no clue about? in all honesty, i feel it. when i'm able to answer something others cant or like when i know something someone doesnt.yet the sense of satsfaction isnt something that i'm like proud of. instead i'm ashamed for that 'satisfaction' i get. hmmm
ok, maybe this doesnt make much sense to anyone of u so ya. hahaha
just some random thoughts. =)

I know it doesn't seem that way
But maybe it's the perfect day
Even though the bills are piling
And maybe Lady Luck ain't smiling

But if we'd only open our eyes
We'd see the blessings in disguise
That all the rain clouds are fountains
Though our troubles seem like mountains

There's gold in them hills
There's gold in them hills
So don't lose heart
Give the day a chance to start

Every now and then life says
Where do you think you're going so fast
We're apt to think it cruel but sometimes
It's a case of cruel to be kind

And if we'd get up off our knees
Why then we'd see the forest for the trees
And we'd see the new sun rising
Over the hills on the horizon

There's gold in them hills
There's gold in them hills
So don't lose faith
Give the world a chance to say...

A word or two, my friend
There's no telling how the day might end
And we'll never know until we see

That there's gold in them hills
There's gold in them hills
So don't lose heart
Give the day a chance to start

Chris Martin ft Ron Sexsmith

2006-01-01T11:38:00.000+08:00

happy 2006 people!!! =))

haha and guess how i spent my new yrs eve yday
stayed home for dinner and watched tv -_-
pancakes for breakfast, sleep for lunch and then dinner by me
had no 'i wanna get out and celebrate' kinda thing
but i must say i'm very very happy that its come to an end for 2005
though i must be really thankful for the people ive met/known
theyve all like made differences to matters concerning 360 degress of my life
seriously, if i was lacking any single one of u guys,
things would definitely have been worse so, ThankYouVeryMuch =))

2005 was one of the nastiest yr i had (ok, ive only had 18 yrs la, so?!)
so hopefully this brand new 2006 is gonna set things right haha

thats all for now
i'm hungry, rah
ahaha =))

2005-12-23T03:14:00.000+08:00

i had my feelings put out to dry today
and boy did it feel so damn good

=)

christmas is coming and unfortunately
i'm not so looking forward it
but hell do i want a PSP
ok, i''m damn slow but still,
the moment zhiming was playing it today i knew it, that was it
i want!!!! hahahaha

i want the whole work issue to be settled asap
cant take it anymore, RAH
gettin me on my nerves and hmm..
oh i want narnia-ing tmr too
hahaha i sound like a brat but like we all know,
i'm not. =))

2005-12-14T23:30:00.000+08:00

i wish for all these shit gone, thats all

2005-12-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

flour-bathed last night
hahaha. sue's 21 birthday ah
she had a flour + pepsi + water + mango tea attack
hahahaha i love my colleagues.
not all of course, not with all these hidden arrows flying around
hmmm

i majorly wasted my off day away, again
ive a wisdom tooth coming out RAH
and, i'm afraid of dentists REALLY.
shit

my four walls speak of details i cant afford, every night

2005-12-05T23:16:00.000+08:00

i can smell christmas alr
well, u get wad i mean
hahaha

but come to think of it, christmas is just but another day
never really felt the 'warm' and 'giving' thingy people always talk about
whats it really supposed to be about anyway?
cuz i think everything's just becoming a practice
its kinda like a habit, a have-to kinda thing and not totally by will?
i dunno, maybe its just me cuz ive never really celebrated it
not even when i really wanted to
anyway nothing good has ever really come outta it, for me
doubt this year will be any exception
so i guess i sldnt be thinking too much bout it?

oh has anyone caught 'prime' ?
wah i feel like watching but someone told me it isnt too good, damn
shit, so many movie to catch, so little time
haiyo

boo shit ah
headache's back
so back to sleep

all i want for christmas..

Drinking for eleven, that's just what I do,
When I'm not with you, my heart goes to bed

End of the bar, that's just where I'll be,
Don't try and come find me,
'Cause I'm already dead

With one eye tied upon the open road,
I feel your presence and I can't let it go
It moves so slowly as it creeps into my mind,
Steals every breath I have and leaves my heart behind

I wanna know what you're feeling if you're feeling alone,
I wanna hear if you still care
The last time I remember you was the last time I wasn't scared

When the night starts fadin' and the mornin' arrives,
I wanna still feel you around
Will you creep into my head again and pick me up off the ground?
Once more, tell me what you're fighting for

Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
There's nowhere left to stay

Sometimes I feel like I'm out here all alone,
Just one in a million stuck with no place left to go

Fear steps up to me with every move that I make
Following close behind my soul it wants to take

I wanna know what you're feeling if you're feeling alone,
I wanna hear if you still care
The last time I remember you was the last time I wasn't scared

When the night starts fadin' and the mornin' arrives
I wanna still feel you around
Will you creep into my head again and pick me up off the ground?
Once more, tell me what you're fighting for

Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
There's nowhere left to stay

Drinking for eleven, that's just what I do,
When I'm not with you, my heart goes to bed.

mad caddies - drinking for 11

2005-12-05T04:32:00.000+08:00

i'm starting to enjoy work, haha
how can i not when i shower myself with 2plus hr breaks every now and then?
heh

aeon flux-ed on sat night and it isnt all that nice, to me
typical plot and ridiculous question mark inducing scenes
hahaha except that the lead doesnt look too bad
oh well, it was nice catching up with lihua though
that ass wouldnt stop laughing at me, hmmm
went to pooljunction twice in a day, the day i played pool after a very long time
beer is not good when ure made to finish it cus the place is closing
hoegaarden hoeggarden hoegarrden
i forgot how to spell, shit haha

just finished mahjonging and ya, basically i won like 20cents?!
sian only hahaha
poor them, ive a feeling the booth will be understaffed tmr
hahahaha. cuz the two late kings are bound to oversleep
while the late queen, yours truly, has no work

bathing the dog tmr
maybe i can attempt styling my dog's fur before that
hahaha. oh no, i hope noone from spca reads this
yeah right, like i bear to abuse my dog, he burnt a hole in my pocket la
since noone's willing to buy his stuff
TSK

its almost 5 and i'm bored
i wanna catch saw2!
who who who who who
who wants to catch it too?

i think i need to bring my kitchen to work
plus a tv set oh, how bout throwing in a xbox?
that'd be perfect
=))

2005-11-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

com's back, and finally ive a lil time for it
work's gettin worse each day
i think its really cultivating the ugliest side of geor
i am very easily-annoyed, snappy, mood swingish, basically, just mad now
hahaha

and my newly found potential good friend is jumping around, seekin attention
haha. a maltese that is. cute. and horny. hahahha
it attempted humpin on me sis?! tsktsk
its pretty old though
wah, chee ko pek of a dog

had the worst week ever, the past 7 days.
shit just have to happen, like they always do
all sucks more when u have a bastard at home (no, not the dog)
and when ure really emotional, it doesnt really help either

a huge ass sorry to jae for not showing up that night
if u ever read this that is =/

i miss people
i haven seen alot of people
i have an irrregular schedule
how am i supp to find these people?
people, people, people, people

i'm feeling very detached
regarding alot of stuffs AND people

things change more often than not
faster than u can catch em
but then there are just these things
that no matter how much time uve given them
how hard uve tried for it to go/evolve/mutate/evaporate
theyre still lying there
making all your efforts seem like dust in the air

and basically this whole entry is not linked in any way
omg, i'm getting more random each day
and i shoot profanities(??) at people everyday
i hope i wouldnt hurt anyone
i highly doubt it, since its supp to be considered blunt and all
RAH, i'm NOT makin any sense at all la
good night la

2005-11-12T14:55:00.000+08:00

what other wonderful way to spend your off day besides sleeping in all day
with flu, sore throat, slight temp and cough
top it off with a splitting headache and swollen gums
splendid

thank goodness i managed to get my ass outta the hse yday
when things werent this bad
please dont watch 'just like heaven' unless,
youre the sort who loves drama mama scenes and super predictable plots

i spent my day calculating my pay
yes, in saph's words, i'm auntified
and after deducting this and that
all those i need to pay (including my mum pls)
i'm left with THIS amount of money, how to save?
how to learn driving? how to this/that/here/there??!
damn demoralizing. RAH

well well, at least its a new working environment
though we all should know how much i LIKE it
at least i'm less sheltered now so ya

and jed, i do not like INDIAN CUISINE, thank you
i cant take spicy food mind you
hahaha

tekka for two more days
most prolly mustafa after
-_-

i lead a boring life
RAHH

learning what to contrast you against

2005-11-02T16:50:00.000+08:00

aiyo. i cant think of anything suddenyly to blog when the thoughts were flowing like mad
hahaha

saw people today but most importantly,
i saw shuhiang ah
hahaha pri school friend man
oh my, its been so long

and tiring balls man, at work
can u believe that there're actually booth/kiosk that has NO CHAIRS?!
and its operating hrs is like 10 - 10
so we happily stood there twisting and twisting our poor feet
flyers giving out too, ive learnt to take whatever flyers come my way next time
irritating like mad when they reject you ok
and bored us started people watching
no cute guy/hot girls
hahahaha

oh well.

2005-11-01T17:09:00.000+08:00

now's the big day and.
things dont even look one tenth the same
HAH

still strikes at where it hurts best
ever as accurate
most importantly, its very sleep depriving
and it makes me eat my words
i dont exactly like that. hmmm.

oh well, seoul garden-ed away with the sis today
went to her sch to help collect her report slip
and the asshole of a clerk refused
but whatever, managed to get it in the end
i felt like we were carnivores for the day
cuz all we had was meat meat and more meat
so maybe i should go vegeterian tmr
hahaha. yeah right, like i can ever make it

I'm Dying, Dying to wake up without you, without you in my head again
I'm Dying, Dying to forget about you, that you ever lived
There's a shade, come over this heart that's coping with laying down to rest
I'm Dying to live without you again

I'm Dying, Dying to find a distraction, get you away from me
I'm Dying, Dying to reach a conclusion, so that the world can see
It's the same old story of love and glory that broke before it bent
I'm Dying to live without you again

The first time you left I said goodbye
Now there's not a prayer that can survive

Dying, Dying to die just to come back so we can meet again
Dying, Dying to say what I always should have said
It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...

I'm Dying and I can't live without you again
It's a strange emotion this but there's still hope in this
As long as there's a breath...

I'm Dying and I can't live without you
I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

five for fighting - dying

all that goes well's supposed to end well, isnt it?

happy deepavali everyone
happy 1st nov

2005-10-30T19:26:00.000+08:00

Don't know why I'm still afraid
If you weren't real I would make you up
nowI wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true
And deep as the sea

But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores of freedom,
Where no one lives

Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet
In love's game
You would call; I'd call you back
And then I'd leave a message
On your answering machine

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores of freedom,
Where no one lives

Freedom run away tonight
Freedom, freedon
Run away run away tonight

We're made out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust
Without A fight
I think that you came too soon
You're the honey and the moon
That lights up my night

But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish that I could follow you
To the shores of freedom
Where no one lives

Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom freedom
Run awayRun away tonight

We got too much time to kill
Like pigeons on my windowsill
We hang around

Ever since I've been with you
You hold me up
All the time I've falling down

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now I wish I could follow you
To the shores of freedom
Where no one lives

joseph arthur - honey and the moon

i feel bad
for not meeting up with people i should be
sigh

geor is too broke la
to even feel like steppin out
cuz it only means spendin money
since when have i become sucha stingy ass?

not feeling very good today
oh well

2005-10-28T17:51:00.000+08:00

i dont understand you and i think i'm giving up trying
isnt that all great then?

ill be happy to have things the way they were a week ago

and i'm shit hungry
die, no food and no dinner
gastric rocks balls

2005-10-28T17:23:00.000+08:00

hola! yet another sleepless night.
had training today and i swear i felt like i was back in sch
secondary sch if u must know
boring but since we're paid for it, it sldnt hurt too much la
hahaha

and i bet noone will ever be able to guess where i'm posted to
TEKKA MALL
how nice really. ive never really appreciated wet markets
and its so ulu-mama i'm so gonna cry
talk about crying, ALL my songs are gone
i'm really upset bout it la ok
GRRRR

back to talk bout work, thank goodness tekka mall's kiosk is only for a month
so after a month, ill be sent to random kiosks around
hopefully not mustafa, ill prolly hang myself if i get it
wait, but they have nice pratas and thosais i wanna try
hmmmmm. heh

apparently starhaub is catering to like these foreigners
who uses prepaid cards so that explains for all the weird addresses
i hope itll be fun, the new job and all
=/

i'm sorry for calling u closet jed really. hahahahaha
ive never meant it. dont blame me if u ever change lanes. hahahahaha
and ive this song stuck in my head now
all thanks to dj SAPH hahahahaha
since she wants the credits right?

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

sigh i'm damn damn sad la
sorry, still in mourning mode
all my songs
ok, off to cry
RAH

wow, 4 more days?
oh well

2005-10-24T18:04:00.000+08:00

its weird how things run in circles
and the way u look at your brand new, few yrs old pair of shoe
seemingly new, yet old to the mind

so neither nor, either or
not here, but aint there too
smacked in between

its like insomnia in your dreams
no longer equipped with the ability to set things apart,
for awhile at least

hmmm
oh well, on a lighter note
i had a haircut today! uhh, again i mean.
hahahaha. in the comfort of my own house
which explains for a considerably huge patch of a hole on my head
thank goodness its not a deadly kinda patch, if not?!
foo yo. i'll be a nun or just imprison myself at home man
-_- these are the consequences of being stingy and cutting your own hair

but quite fun la
haven done so for really long
haha, i just need practise la please
heh, anyone willin to let me experiment?
guinea pigs? =))

if anyone reads hard enough,
den you'll be able to tell i'm trying to make my entry sound more..
hmmm, less down?
cuz my sis complained and i'm trying to prove her wrong la
she claimed in every 10 of my entries, 8 are depressing
so ya, i guess my efforts are noticeable
hahaha. stupid i know
but it isnt very nice to sound blahblah all the time
its contagious i realised so, i'm tryin to be a considerate blogger
for now at least heh

i cant sleep, help
maybe i sld start lookin for 24 hrs helpline
cure me of my sleeping probs as and when

2 more days to work!
how exciting......

yeah right.

2005-10-23T18:13:00.000+08:00

had a day full of sleep and something else
another day wasted
dammit haha

wah, big winner last night playing mahjong
its been damn long please
20 bucks in like 3 plus hrs?
hahaha playing ten cents twenty cents only ok
seriously, lady luck shining so damn friggin brightly
=))

well, thats kinda making me crave for more mahjong -_-
bad i know but ive only got less than a week left before work!
so needless to say, its only wise to make full use of it
hahaha

and i finished the whole 'prince turn into frog' show already
chiong evrything this morning from 4am to 9am
then 9 pm to 2 am
sleepin break in between
and i'm feelin lazy to leave the house
die, supp to meet Mr Closet tmr somemore
hahahaha thank goodness he doesnt read this

draining day i swear
oh well
back to my lifeless nights
and super 'happening' days

nights all human

Smoke curls through my hands
These one night stands
Are making me crazy I know
Morning I'll go
Crowds in the rain all passing by

Faith gone from your eyes
Each word it flies
Taking you further away
And come that day
There ain't no easy way to cry

And as I watch you leave I stand
Inside my house of straw
And everywhere I go I find
Things recollecting to my mind
How right it all could be

Faith gone from your eyes
Each word it flies
Straight to the heart and I know
Watching you go
There ain't no easy way to cry

So right now
So right now
So right now

And as I watch you leave I stand
Inside my house of straw
And everywhere I go I find
Things recollecting to my mind
How right it all could be

Could be

easy way to cry - david gray

i know no words to share it with anyone,
the boundaries of language i silently curse

2005-10-20T12:46:00.000+08:00

bittersweet day we have here
neither constructive nor productive
are they supp to mean the same anyway?
haha. but bottomline, i was uhh.. happy?

there're many things pointless to say and needless to do
but somehow, they just happen to be those better left unsaid kinda thing
so in a way, its good. right?
hmmmm

nvm, geor is nonsense today
=))

i swear this is gonna be a temporary mood man
and i'm still feelin broke
-death stare-
hahahaha

2005-10-19T17:53:00.000+08:00

i'm a piece of sentimental shit, sue me for that
even my attorney's confused regardin my stand,
prosecutor or defendant?

my body clock is screwed once again, die
how am i ever supp to get my hands on my big breakfast?!
hahahaha

sigh, i'm bored
i need new interesting games
not the lousy pokai ones i'm playing now
and another book
saph, where're you? hahahahaha
oops

i feel like shoppin, on air?
too broke to even mention the word, 'shop'
i'm gonna embrace work when it comes
and kiss boring nights away

hmmm

a positive scab thats never healing

night

2005-10-17T10:32:00.000+08:00

chilly morning!
even the wall feels cold to touch
brrr

i'm surprised i only had 6hrs sleep
thats barely wad i'd call sufficient
but the thought of waking up at hours that'll cause me to miss big breakfast?
no way, i'm gonna try waking up slightly earlier for it

haha, i sound like sucha glutton here
and no, i'm not
its just a craving
cuz that was supp to be breakfast with sis yday
i didnt sleep till 9 am last morning
i sldnt have succumbed(is spelling right?) to the temptation
rah, caused me to miss my big breakfast
and me making making a fool of myself yet again in fronta sis
i mumbled something like
'u think i walk very fast ah?' (???) to her when she attempted waking me up
hahaha rubbish man seriously

and i think lihua called me
asked if i wanted to like go out or something
damn, i mustve replied her with garbage man
cuz ive no clue wad i said to her
hahahaha
geor is drunk when she's sleepy
she spouts nonsense

this is a nice morning
jack johnson in the background
is making everything better

morning guys
=))

2005-10-16T23:15:00.000+08:00

i love the lil sis who looks a yr older than i do

this is basically an entry to reply your statement

hahahaha

and no, i'm not trying to be sweet here either

its just to tell u in a less awkward manner

alternatively,

i could just continue waking u up in the middle of the night

mess ur stuffs up

talk like a speaker while ure on the phone

act like a total airhead

and drown u in my evil laughter.

not for anything,

except the kicks to see u start pulling ur hair

heh

oops

omg, geor is like how sweet pls

though she said she's not trying

hahahaha

ok, off to bed

morning everyone

2005-10-14T18:01:00.000+08:00

wah. embarrassing shit man
i called jed, or did i not.
and texted him rubbish that he better not spill
and basically made a fool of myself in fronta j and my sis
see j, i told u i sldve stayed home. rahh
at least then, i can be sure i wun be leaving trails of puke on my way back
but thanks anyway for sending me home
i didnt lose my phone this time, just my GLASSES
the fact that i lost it is biting onto my poor heart now
theyre like 4 months old?
dammit

and i missed my interview today cuz i was puking the whole morning
whatever went in, came back right out
sick stuff. shall spare the details
had a temp so off to docs
slept my day away
damn productive i swear

i need a job, some books (yes, youre not seeing stuffs) and things to do
best if i can with as little money as possible
geor is as much whiny and calculative
as the aunties fighting battles with butchers and fishmongers in the market
every penny counts!
i want my free spring onion and chilli!
maybe some garlic too?

bored shit and maple is taking eternity to patch
or whatever its called
and i cant stand the way i get so sentimental
so much for,
'im not gonna get too sentimental like those other sticky valentine'
like look who's talking man
shut up geor
nothing good comes outta this trap of yours
tsktsk

hmmm
i feel like tanning, again
since it rained on serene and i yesterday
hahaha oh! and there was this naked lady in the toilet la
omfg like pls
i felt as though some dirt or whatever pierced into my eyes or something
firstly, the cubicles were empty, all waiting for you
yet u just happily strip yourself bare and change right outside the entrance
hello?! thats not exactly a very good way to exhibit yourself
lastly, i mean if ure lke hot HOT den i hafta keep quiet cuz its your choice to showcase yourself
but thing is, youre not!
wahh embarrassin max
even if youre not, i was and so was serene
tsktsk

sick u know some people
and die, ive a sudden craving
for fruits
hahaahahaha
how random

nights people

2005-10-12T15:16:00.000+08:00

the most dramatic days spent ever

was the worse way i'd ever wanna wake up to
the call cemented my heart
the sight just pinned me down like a helpless child
i darent look too much
the consequences of staring was unbearable
stole a glance more or two before leaving

i could hear myself beat in my ears
emotions dying to escape my eyes
and words locked up at my throat
i was in absolutely no position to tell you anything
the custody of that extra portion of care and fear was not mine,
not today, not for a very long time

the day was filled with little songs u sang and played and the faces u made
and cuz of their presence,
i'm not afraid, not tonight, not now
cuz they mean everything, to me

they're all i'm left with, now

tonight

we can no longer fight

we can never return to it

once we begin to see

through the eyes up over heaven

would you ever return to me in the end?

i'm not afraid of you at all

if you turned away they will all fall

tonight

we can no longer try

all the time that i cried

i want you again

no one's heard this

no voice resounds

no one's around

i can't believe it

what i have become

no one

its over now

i'm not afraid of you at all

i'm not afraid tonight

all your stars glowing bright

~~i know i'll reach that light again~~

~~again~~

remy zero - i'm not afraid

2005-10-11T15:47:00.000+08:00

removed the previous entry
man it just didnt make sense to me after
haha. i wonder if i was high on air or something

had a great sat at danielle's place
steamboat, mahjong (after wad seemed like eternity), and some games
but, i just cudnt stand the dog, HER dog
omfg it was like the most irritating creature then
oops, sorry danielle but u know its not just me who thinks that
hahahaha
we bought food as though they were for pigs
but wad more can we ask when its an auntie we went shoppin wit
hahahaha

the weirdest thing happened today
i caught a movie at 10.30 AM with......
turtle. oh my.
who wud ever believe that, i cudn either
honestly, there were moments whereby i really regretted but still
its a good start to patching things up, i guess
and he went for the interview with me too la
paid for the fare, which was my purpose for askin him along
hahahaha. evil but hello?!
its not wrong for a father to pay for her daughter right?

and ya, things strange happened
the whole conversation, my postion and part i'm playin now
damn odd
its like ive nv ever thought it'd come to this but it did
well not that its any bad but just strange, for a start
i realised my first impressions can be really bad sometimes,
when it comes to others i mean, my first impression of em
woops
better late than never

2 movies in a day is wrong, to me now at least
i'm broke peanuts for whatever's sake
oh well
geor has changed
i'm sure everyone will be able to tell
once u meet her out of hse
oh my

its scary how u never learn
and whatever youve gotten yourself into now
sometimes i understand why
yet most of the time, its washed away by endless head-shaking
u know well enough that for whats happening now,
ure the one going through the shittest shit
but u have a choice
make it, quick
b4 more damage is done,
to anyone of u
i know this is absolutely none of my business
but tell me, when can/have i ever been able to keep my nose outta ur affairs

tsktsk
i sld start taking up courses
something that helps to meditate
ahahahahahaha
does yoga has that effect?
hahahaha
all these are bull man

like a shout through an empty sanctuary

2005-10-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i just wish i still have the mentality of what i had when a kid
well, i'm sure all do, at some point

its like nothing felt too hard to learn
nothing seemed too impossible to take on
nothing was too hard to speak of
we just had our way to thinkin

the simplicity of not knowing too much
the privilege of having more to learn and see
and the pure excitement and interest we bear for things that were then new
all washed away with time

this doesnt go for everyone of course, just me
for now at least
all these funny thoughts are causing a major chain-crash in my head

it would be good if i can be given more time to sort things out,
maybe even a second chance to attempt makin life work, den again
more time might just condone my act of complicating wad was made simple
and a sec chance might just watch me ruin everything once more

so wad is the point?
maybe things are better now, than being able to give it a sec thought

hmmm

i swear its the free time thats causing this
its robbing me of my humour
and creasing my way of life
i'd better iron things out soon
before it pops another steal

oh, and i have 'homework'
it'll be submitted say, soon?
haha. this's my style for doing work,
D R A G
sounds pretty interesting though
hmmm. oh well.

=)
geor is smiling and she has no no clue why
but whatever it is, she's trying to keep it
oh, maybe cuz mum's birthday's nearing
shit. wait, sldnt that stress me further instead?
die
d e a d with a capital D