Thursday, March 15, 2007

whoa, so this is the first post after a trillion months lol
just had a mystery test today damn my carrots were uncooked!-.-
wad a spoiler nehneh RAH

so im down to my last 2 weeks of proper school
headed down to the oriental yday for an interview
i went there WITHOUT my IC so the extremely POLITE security lady didn leet me in
mum had to rush down with my IC heh
i know im sucha spoilt brat sometimes
especially since school started
i hope i get the job, if not i really wouldnt know where to head to
hmmm. anyone has any contacts with people in the hotel line?
the ones i wanna try are all full, no more vacancy
conrad, marina mandarin, copthorne waterfront blablablabla

have been meeting noone but my mum cuz my hours are like so irregular
my hols are startin 6th april to 15th!
EVERYBODY! MEET UP!
i wanna go for a short trip or something, anyone interested? heh

alright gtg.

xoxo
6:00 PM

Thursday, February 15, 2007

absolutely wanted to blog but!
i think my brain just messed its contents up, so there
im speechless, as usual

cheers for all who're officially free from the term 'school'
people my batch/level/age have graduated and im still in the 2nd month of school RAH

speaking of age, i cant believe im hitting the two's in a few hours time
i barely even look 18! &@^@#^%$^
and having to spend this coming day never felt this dreadful
have never really enjoyed birthdays, not my own
its like aniticipation then repulsion like ?!!!

and i thought they're supposed to make u feel special?
that, i totally do not understand and totally disagree
i think they make u feel worse than u do, worse than u should

wah, so much for a messed up brain
i actually blogged quite ABIT. lol

alright, ciaociao

xoxo
8:44 PM

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

so things have been going pretty smoothly for me
the days at least i think
all i do is blink and ta daa, its the third week alr
good for me, making friends haven felt easier
cuz thankfully, theyre almost all a pretty nice bunch
ALMOST
(thats excluding the ridiculous uncle whom i really wanted to kill)
i am NOT to be trifled with ROAR

well well, CNY's coming
which spells a short break for everyone haha
including myself duh
cant wait cant wait cant wait
the mrt rides all the way to the west is killing me slowly

BAH, lessons again later at 2
i shall go show that uncle wad im made of!
i am woman! hear me ROAR!
lol

xoxo
11:32 AM

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

so its the 4th school day tmr and after 3 days of school i realised

- i'm gonna have practical tests every week
- ive to start waking up at 6 in the morning ON MY OWN
- ive to squeeze on the super packed train with tons of ppl (not to mention the @!$#^%@^ ones)
- the damn ride is almost an hour long
- 80% of my coursemates belong to the male species
- out of the 7 female, 3 are above 30 and married with kids while 3 are my species(if u know wad i mean) while the other is well, 26

ok, i actually have many other points but i figured if i continue listing,
i'd probably have to list at least 20 more lol



im amazed that i haven taken a single cab this week
seriously, its too far for me to even imagine the fare
i guess thats one of the more positive thing since school heh


oh and this's also the first time im in a class with guys 30 years my senior
theyre older than my mum!
not that its anything bad really, just felt odd u know
having a 'father' sort of figure being ur partner
learning together and well, teaching each other the itsy bitsy stuff
perhaps its just me and my senstive self u know,
just like how i freaked out before the whole school thing started

things are getting better at least
not as bad as i imagined
pieces falling into place
and i cant wait to get my chef jacket on fri!!!!!! hahahahha
though its really just a uniform practically anyone use in the kitchen
still, im just excited cancancancancan lol
wah, with the super rock-hard safety shoes
i'll look like a factory auntie hahahahaha

ok, i shall take a pic of my uniform tmr(polo tee and pants la)
cuz ken said i look like shit in them
but i actually kinda think theyre ok?
argh whatever haha


tmr people (thats if ANYONE even reads this still)
this blog is so dead its sad haha

xoxo
9:22 PM

Thursday, January 11, 2007

rahh! ive been so damn angsty the past two days
been gettin pissed over the slightest thing right down to the dumb weather
though i still think im not wrong with whatever i was pissed about, hmmm
then again, for someone as hot-tempered and self-righteous as i
nothings quite right nor wrong


i guess its all the anxiety thats raging my incredible hormones
so much so that even my mum is giving in to me
now thats rare and it only goes to show how snappy i am
school's starting in like wad? 3 more days?
after 2 whole years of not getting involved with ANY educational system NOR school
plus, the activity 'social' hasnt exactly been on my to-do list of late
what can be worse?

and i just got my tt yday
ive school from mondays to SATURDAYS
8 to bloody 6 on saturdays somemore


it could just be me but yeah, i feel like a pri school kid
its screwing my head more than anything else
NIAK! RAH! BAH! GAH!


oh man, its been like 2 months since i blogged
haha. my last entry was like last year?
ok, i should start again i think. hmmm

xoxo
7:46 PM

Friday, November 03, 2006

its not supposed to feel like this isnt it?
i mean put aside the grief and tension, why do i feel stress and pressure too?

its not as though anyone's expecting something from me
what can they anyway?
it just never felt this awkward and stressful talking to/being around her
a slight slip of the tongue and god knows what will happen
she's been so nice, nicest to me i must say
and there's nothing left to do but watch as everything starts to move in fastforward mode

who wouldve even imagined this?
just starts the damn fear in me
fear for the effects of this vicious cycle
which is sick even for the mind to think about
niak! what a disgusting entry for the morning
but this happens when ure at a lost for what to do


i'm thinkin of all sorts of possibilities just because of my own definition of helpless
what should she be thinking of then?
i dare not even try answering


I hate to see you cry
lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But i know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But i know the heart of life is good


john mayer - heart of life


on a lighter note
i think john mayer's new album is getting to me
im starting to really really like it
fight fire with fire, blues with blues
ok not exactly but theyre just quite damn good
classic? maybe. whatever.

xoxo
11:26 AM

Sunday, October 01, 2006

yet another month
is monotony the new in or something?
rah

maybe im just this affected at the end of the month
realising that another wretched 30 odd days just said bye
i wonder how many i'll actually get to waste like that
hmmm

i really feel like stepping out to meet more people
but when like its the arranged-time to meet,
the hungry lethargicbug starts eating me up
dammit

all i do is mj, mj and mj for my offs
thats absolutely productive and constructive isnt it =/
to the extent whereby i feel like i cant see people here anymore
hello there! where?

randomrandomrandom


saphila, so goot ah you
go nippon see many many nihon-jin ah
maybe can bring back bb style nihon-jin bf?!
ok, thats abit the difficult but who cares?
youre going to ri ben! haha


and ken, i'll really appreciate it if u DO NOT call me by my chi name
ThankYouVeryMuch
hahaha blog alr laaa


jaejaejae, geor is doing exactly like the above
random, ridiculous and most importantly boring
haiyo, i hope ure having a better time aye
and yes, (i dont normally do this, really)
geor misses you. really la
not entertaining u or whatever
GAH


and yet another mj session tmr
im looking forward to it seriously
cuz its the only thing i do that requires my brain to work, nowadays

xoxo
9:03 PM

Thursday, September 14, 2006

this's quite cool bloggin using my phone. Lol. Ok, i know i'm sucha sua gu. Alright, after some not-so-cheap thrill, i sld go sleep. Night world.

xoxo
12:54 AM

Friday, September 08, 2006

this is boredom at its climax/peak whatever
boredom maximus

and im like finally getting a WEEKEND off day pls
ah, feels heavenly even before the day itself is here lol

ok, i sld go get new earphones/headphones
whichever impresses me later


oh well, what exactly is boredom?
with monotony working its way into everyday

xoxo
4:56 PM

Thursday, September 07, 2006

this feels kinda foreign
im always flooded with things to blog about whenever im out
but when i get down to it, can never quite get it out like i used to
vapourised

met up with some people on monday
it came to me as a rather odd mix,
without the usuals who help neutralise the awkwardness
i must mention this before i go though, im pretty extreme when i feel weird
its either autistic(ok, perhaps just being alot quieter than usual)
or ill just blabber on and on about absolute rubbish

in this case, i went on like a machine gun operated by a 7yr old
bangbangbang
shootshootshoot
all numb with my nonsense way beforehand

and, i finally had a somewhat decent conversation with someone
it felt good, of course
having drifted so far apart over something i still cant quite put a finger to
i never dared bring up anything that quite requires the use of past tenses
i mean, of cuz nothing of the past bugs me(not regarding alot at least)
but it just felt like thats where the line sld be drawn
lest i retardedly spout rubbish once more, like i always do-.-

point is it felt good, it feels good
not that im sure she isnt pissed with me anymore
not that im sure i wouldnt remind her of stuffs she was tryin to forget
not that im sure the pricks arent there anymore(ok, actually i know its still there)
but its a good start, to me

it was a bag full of emotions when i realised she was pissed
like 'huh?!', then comes anger and more 'huhs' finally with a tinge of regret
i mean i may appear like it didnt matter
and perhaps it really didnt/doesnt matter to anyone but it did, to me

to me, she was a close friend
someone i could relate to, stuffs like that
oh well, i barely have any so-called goodfriends
even if i do, most of the time, it feels more like a one-sided thing
(goodness! now im making it all sound so weird, again)

oh and i really really wanna apologise to someone
perhaps my absence meant nothing but its still buggin me
and i didnt even get to wish u a happy birthday ah
i didnt even send u off-.-
maybe after reading this, u can kinda tell how insignificant a person i think i am right?
so hopefully you get what im trying to say
confusing? yeah i think so too
haiya im just seriously sorry

RIGHT. this is the reason why i cant seem to get anything on this blog
cuz it all seems so trivial, so frivolous, so unsincere, so artificial but nah
i shant delete this again
its better to have something boring to occupy this space than nothing at all
so, happy getting bored

xoxo
9:24 PM

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

and so ive been missing from the virtual world for quite a bit
been working for my mum and hey, it isnt that bad
besides the extremely early mornings

i mean yeah, all along ive shared a close r/s with the mother
but its somewhat different and better since working for her
though i have to admit we sorta argue more regularly now

somehow, something that happened lately got me started on this whole
bonding-with-the-family thing

just curious, do we really respect the aged or
is it only cuz we're afraid of all the guilt and regrets that'll come along with their death?

cmon be honest, majority of us cannot tolerate the incessant nagging
though we all know well enough that its all for the better
nvm, i sldnt start, if not ill never stop


oh and i cant believe i can get nonsense like this, happening now
its so funny i cant help laughing
its bringing back the shadows of the sec-school geor lol
nvm, its so stupid its not even worth mentioning


hermit geor, this is bad
i will try start meeting the world soon, im sorry-.-


to birks or not to birks
haiyo

xoxo
9:06 PM

Saturday, July 22, 2006

aiyo, why when i publish the previous entry
the july 9th entry pop out?!

no yx, im not adapting the bloggin system from MOU MOU blog
thats pure accident! hahahahahha

i did that entry awhile ago, i couldnt get it published properly
and now it decided to pop outta nowhere-.-
SPLENDID hahahaha
oh btw, i think the quiz is QUITE true
hah! i think.. hmmm

yes i know, it still looks rather screwed so yeah
whatever la rah

oh and i forgot this,
ive this new thing bout coming home before the sun goes home
im afraid of the night yo! LOL

ok, bullshit ciao

xoxo
12:12 AM

Friday, July 21, 2006

oh i feel huge-ass generous today i bet
haha but it always pays to make people around feel loved yoyoyo
never fails to make your day
but then the next u feel the huge pinch and sympathy, for yourself-.-

haiya, i had so much to talk about
and now im dry on what to blog
shit

now we know why i haven been blogging
RAH, maybe tmr will be better

ciao ciao

xoxo
11:55 PM

Sunday, July 09, 2006

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this worldSo much so that you tend to live in your head most of the timeYou have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsoulareyouquiz/" What Kind of Soul Are You?

xoxo
2:08 PM

Thursday, July 06, 2006

last night my granny made us some bee hoon for dinner
i took my plate and went to the wok,
carefully picking this particular 'thing' onto my plate alongside the bee hoon
it was like my all-time favourite and i haven eaten it for ages
happily eating at the dinnertable, i saved the 'thing' for last
works the same as the damn 'save the best for last' theory

so much for saving it, i didnt even touch it after the first bite
and no, dont get me wrong,
this entry, after such a long time, isnt about my irrelevant eating habits
more like it made me realise something which i think i need to keep a record of
well, just in case i forget, like i always do

always having wanting something, increases the value of it IN OUR HEAD
even though it may very well be diminishing at an astonishing rate OUT OF IT
we've just paid too much attention to the 'desire'
and of course, the process of which we went through to wait and finally have it
that we keep a blind eye to whether it is still as important
so when we get it, it the other way around cuz the desire for it is long gone
we just owe the rush-to-the-head and joy to our efforts for waiting, pulling off

sounds amazingly boring i know haha
the wonders of a chestnut hahahaha
oh yeah, its chestnut i was talking about
but no, im not that crazy about it, just a REFERENCE
hahahaha

oh yea, got tagged by SAPHILA yoyo

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your Livejournal (or blog) along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to in absolute random order.


1. Sergio Mendes feat. Black Eyed Peas - Mas Que Nada
2. Sergio Mendes - Never Gonna Let You Go
3. Corrine Bailey Rae - Like A Star
4. Bright Eyes - No Lies, Just Love
5. Jack Johnson - Fortunate Fool
6. Mae - Tisbury Lane
7. 杨千嬅 - 有过去的女人


hahaha i dont normally do tags man
but this one's easy and anyway
i honestly think that actually 7 isnt enough
like 'HELLO' how to choose TSK

and im a kind soul so im not gonna tag anyone
ok maybe one la, MY SIS
HAH! -.-

wow, what a long and dead entry
whats new

xoxo
4:00 PM

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

cannonballed

xoxo
2:23 PM

Sunday, June 04, 2006

it takes only ten mins of having nothing to do in the van
with the engines off while letting me sleep a lil more before i leave for work
staring at cd covers and occasionally, at me,
to remind me of exactly how much she loves me

i love my mum
though i admit she's the reason behind my swearing and cursing sometimes
but still, HAR!


and yes, ive vanished for awhile
work yo people, WORK
and not to mention MY original lazy genes

somehow, coming online has been quite a chore for me
elaborations arent necessary so yeah

things have been going quite smoothly for me i guess
as long as i put it outta the picture
whoo

i cant wait for redang
i want a holiday
and i cant wait for school to start
though i still have 6 months to it
dreadful 6 months but oh well
at least its 6 months =))

xoxo
6:00 PM

Saturday, May 13, 2006

currently in 'tisbury lane' mood
the guitars are playing directly off my heart strings
and the song my sis just played on her phone for me isnt helping either

feeling rather off track all of a sudden
like its all sinking in once again
whats sinking in, i dont know
just overwhelmed by such feelings

nothing feels too hard to shy from
when you have words to build your facade upon
and a face as your most lethal weapon, most effective armor
against all the monstrousity around

and it fcuking sucks to always be a damn shadow
we all breathe the same air of a stench,
stand on the same land of mines
but why is geor always given the blind treatment
and noone sees just who she is
she's just a cover of many many people around

whoa, thanks for all the attention man,
if thats what i deserve then i'd rather do without em
i believe ill feel more of my own presence that way
i really will, it'll be easier to convince myself at least



She greets the day with her hair wet
She asks them to vacate the building
Because she's got a plan they don't know yet
And if it goes wrong, there'll be no one to see

If she could just get the word out
God knows she's trying
They're watching her with eyes closed
She's always stuck with the old route
Does anyone knock when they barge in to beat her down?

Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying for

No one can know just how she feels
She won't use the phone, she's too tired to pick it up
She's going back to the old way
She sits in the classroom to learn with the others

Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying for

Yeah
She lives on Tisbury Lane

tisbury lane - mae

xoxo
1:49 AM

Friday, May 12, 2006

Hey Elizabeth I'm just a peasant school boy.
But I've been waiting a long time to hold your hand,
Or something like that.
I'm not a soldier and I'm not a king,
But I can play a mean guitar
And you can talk to me about almost anything,
Without worrying.

Cause I'm standing in my tin foil armor,
My dollar store broad sword is by your side.
And did Ronald break your heart when he called you ugly?
And can I hold your arm?

hello kelly - paper bag princess



these are just some of the cutest lyrics ive heard in ages
hahaha its stuck in my head

anyway, work has started at www
isnt exactly what i'd expect but aint too bad either
hahaha i know im hell fussy. sorry
and ive lost the fill-in-the-blanks to blog
oh man. im random nvm
when it all comes back

OH and my dog looks like a white mice now-.-
except for his bigger ears and longer legs
hahaha poor boy

ok, my neck is giving me quite abit of a problem now
ciaociao

xoxo
12:36 AM

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

geor is in her very own summer
her moods has their very own seasons too

it was winter way back, cold and all
then came spring, wasnt all that pretty cuz of DAMN global warming.
(yes, geor's moods are affected by global warming too. HAR!)

i hope summer stays for good, at least long enough?

so WWW did call me in the end!
HAR! i cant even tell how relieved i am now really
alls good the way it seems and im happy

MI3 tmr yo and new glasses!



contentment never came this easily
satisfaction never this overwhelming
just can wait to get over these awkward moments
the ones i know thatre still there

xoxo
1:23 AM

Thursday, May 04, 2006

just done with the durians i bought home awhile ago
and to all those who doesnt appreciate durians,
YOURE REALLY MISSING OUT YO
hahahaha. random

cant wait for MI3 with the mum next week
i was actually really tempted to see it yday with ken
but oh well, i promised me mum i'll watch it with her

redang this june!!!!!
i just hope everything pulls through and not, burst like bubbles
really hope miss XIANG can go though =/

was reading this book yday
'the vindication of the rights of woman' hahaha
then it suddenly dawned on me while serving coffee yday that i personally am quite a sexist too. ok not sexist, wrong word, but im like quite typical.

was serving a coffee and a tea to this couple. before i placed it on the table, i was wondering 'hey, the guy must be having the coffee and the lady, tea' apparently i was wrong. just had the mindset that coffee is something stronger thus, the guy having it while tea, the lady. yeahyeahyeah, what sorta crap theory aye? hahaha. but it just caught me by surprise



well you need a blue sky holiday
the point is they laugh at what you say
and i dont need no carrying on


yeah man
clear blue skies, fluffy white clouds and a scorching hot sun!
what my days are made of right about now
what more can i ask?
=))


woops, itunes is mad and hyper tonight
hot hot heat now yo
hahahaha


talk to me, dance with me here in the spotlight girl
talk to me, dance with me
youre the spotlight girl

xoxo
10:34 PM

Monday, May 01, 2006

booksbooksbooks
lunchlunchlunch
joycelynhojoycelynhojoycelynho
speakersspeakersspeakers
not to mention toilettoilettoilet too

haha pardon me but i just feel like typing in threes tonight

neil gaiman ive long heard
now its time to read for myself to find out

exceptionally perky! hahaha
and i missed work today as usual. damn
gonna get hell from the unbelievable woman later im sure

ive been singing the whole time at home today!
somethings wrong with the brain
hahaha



-----------------------

xoxo
9:51 PM

shouldve known and trusted my instincts
but everyone has a cow side i guess
mine chose to surface at the wrong time
removed the previous entry
it. just. sounded. too. impulsive. for. my. own. good.

the severity of this whole issue on my side of the story has been overlooked since day one

cheers people cheers
all that you guysve been waiting for
finito


this is where i draw the line of retreat



ouchouchouchouchouch

xoxo
3:42 AM

Sunday, April 30, 2006

i had this really regular customer leaving last night
miss cynthia we call her
she's the nicest thing around, at least for as long as i worked
apparently she's going home, back to the states, for good
i felt quite damn sad though
i mean we all were, xixi(LOL) and i

then i realised miss j's leaving sometime in aug too-.-
though its rather different but HEY!
ive never had a close friend leave, yet.
yes j, geor sees u as a close friend. hows that.
oh well =/

geor is too emotional for her own good, on all sorta stuff
whoa, just where the heck do all these energy come from man
but i think it makes me more sensitive, not over-sensitive i hope lol
people like me are best not left alone
cuz they need an outlet for all the affections inside
tsktsk. perhaps i sld just shower em on me dog hahaha
ok that sounded kinda depressing. hmmm

i miss people but im lazy to type em all out
guess who? hahahaha
and my sis is blowing bubbles
now the whole house is filled with em hahaha
bubbles oh bubbles
see how they burst at touch and
i cant help but think of all the if only's
woooooo. feel the love yo.
hahahahaha


look at u, fleeing to the otherside
aint no reason to hide
i shock at the way u handle it
cuz girl you can have it so much better
by choosing to look at things from a different light
friends, such a big and pretty word
im satisfied with it, seriously
whats the point in making something as simple so complicated right?
chill with it la
wooohooo


cramps are such bitches
they ought to be shot and thrown into exile
then again, they come back every month-.-
gah, i want speakers!
random at its height once again
heh -pokes whoever



.

xoxo
12:49 PM

Saturday, April 29, 2006

醒来只有我一个人
分不清黄昏或清晨
空气微冷有甚么在流逝 慢慢降温
一颗心往下沉

毕竟只是太短的梦
彼此终于退回陌生
我加上你两个人并不等于我们

你想我吗 会偶尔想我吗
是这样吗 飞扬的会落下
你爱我吗 如果诚实回答
可是爱也不是解答

你知道吗 我心快要溶化
是这样吗 压抑的会爆发
你爱我吗 爱我就懂我吗

告诉我善意的谎话
告诉我善意的谎话
好让我相信我不是太傻

王力宏 - 两个人并不等于我们


its a sad lil song on a quiet friday night
OH. my line is cut!!!
gah. means no outgoing calls nor sms -.-
want my life?!

so there goes my pay for this month
SPLENDID


eradicate the optimism geor
ok, theres not any left actually hahaha
so thats a good thing
www hasnt called me
is that a sign? im sadded. hahaha
oh well.

my throat wouldnt stop being a bitch and im coughing my lungs out so i think i sld just head to bed. or something else.

zzzzzz

xoxo
12:58 AM

Friday, April 28, 2006

facing the music
barely breathing



-----------------------------

xoxo
2:18 AM

somewhat smooth day with lil hiccups here and there
but everythings still fine, i guess
szengee-ed, van-ed, leen-ed and yx-ed
oh badminton-ed and 85-ed too

i think im damn clumsy
and i look really unglam most of the time
hahahahaha. DAMN

im absolutely dry on what to blog about
im just wasting this space
cuz its mineminemineminemine.
HMMMM


suave?
yeah right j, SURE
haha. lovelove still though =)


keep it all to yourself
im keepin it all to me

xoxo
12:23 AM

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

though you try your best to stay afloat,
sometimes u just cant help but find all efforts seemingly futile against the world, when youre alone

today was actually good in all
but mother just had to wreck it
she has no idea how big an impact her words have on me
despite the fact that she's just saying em outta pms or whatever
im heartbroken

im at the height of my randomness
and suddenly im having heart spasms
great. all at a time. WHOO!


Back and forth that voice of yours keeps me up at night
Help me search to find the words that eat you up inside
I go side to side like the wildest tides in your hurricane
And I only hide what is on my mind because I can't explain

What if I do love
What if I don't?
I'd have to lose everything just to find you
What if I do love
What if I don't
I'd have to lose everything just to find you

It's my turn this solo burn so throw me in the fire
Trophies earned and lessons learned, my wicked little lies
We can pave new roads with the cold creed stones,
wind them through the pines
Should I stay or should I go alone?
I cannot decide


foo fighters - what if i do


today marks the 64th
i hope itll all stop at the 100th
slightly more than a month left, geor you can do it
i mean, u dont really have a choice do u?
hmmm no, u dont




----------------------------------------------------

xoxo
11:45 PM

today mustve been one the worse day by far
i cant believe the extent it went but yeah
i need to like do something about my luck!
pantang! haha

supression's the new in!
i deserve the best actress award man.
supporting actress though, never the main nor lead
thats for sure.

tell me why ive this uber strong gut feeling that i wouldnt get the job tmr. hmmm. lady luck have just been missing me so much lately, i dont even dare to think about it. its ok geor, if they dont take you, ITS THEIR LOSS. heh.


cuz you gave me the best mixtape i have

xoxo
12:39 AM

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

for a moment i thought i was on the fast track to smiles
took me a lil longer than i should to realise its otherwise
better late than never i guess
what doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger

was on the verge of some serious confession
but the idea of lettin my heart get to my head once more,
all the unbearable consequences and
names i'd have to bear killed all that was there
ignorance is bliss i figured
just dont be too surprised if one day you realise,
what hold u actually have of me

we are just similarly different people
similarly different


and in case anyone thinks im talking bout my basic test, its not aye.
i wouldnt make something as small sound so grave
and im way past the test anyway.
i can jolly well just retake it =)

feeling uber guilty now for all the profanities i shot about my mum
was just upset by the mother's comments
she never fails to put me way down
and it hurts most to know those comments were from her
but still, i adore her larr
she's the cutest thing and i love her to bits
i'd do my best to make her proud
seriously, one day, i will
i promise to try and we all know i dont make promises, anyhow

=))

its time for D1 now
off to marina square
hahaha.




heaven should never have felt this cold
blessings never this disguised
but no guise is too hard to be under now
when u find yourself helplessly,
a victim of obsession in an overseen calamity




-------------------------------------------------------

xoxo
1:42 PM

my entry just got deleted LIKE THAT. GAH
nvm, i can still vividly remember what i said.
hahahaha

feeling ultimately perkier now though
JOKEBOX WANNA BE HOW SWEET LA
heartsheartshearts

was having an untimely headache
but apparently, its gone. i wonder why. hmmm
yet to study for basic! pls dont fail tmr geor. hahaha

and i was saying i feel very much like garnish lately
like accessory sorta, though i know i make the worst but still
feel uber outta place, in the crowd. dont ask why.
just feel damn extra.
wo bu zhi dao. only van will understand i guess. hmmm.

i was suddenly reminded of the '10 things i hate about you' movie
therefore i listed 10 things down BUT, since the entry's gone,
i shall not list it again. that was a sign man, thank goodness it didnt publish
being too cheesy is bad for health you see. heh.

and this whole entry actually sounded sorta depressing earlier,
but saph made my day!
i can start writing now!

thanksthanksthanks
lovelovelove
heartsheartshearts

u made geor feel the love around yo LOL
and not as transparent as she felt
=))

xie xie ni
arigatou
thank you
gracie
terima kasih
mm goi
gam sia

xoxo
12:43 AM

Monday, April 24, 2006

moods were on some serious turbo swing yesterday
crappyness worked its way from early morning till late at night
i got my one star at least, for kayaking
oh, and a slight tann too. =))

so everyone's starting school
noone will have time for geor!
i guess ive been quite a bugger lately
getting people to meet me, not wanting to stay home
now ive landed myself in a damn fix
guess ive to survive on ken then?(sounds damn wrong i know)
but i dont wanna be so dependent on her either
when her school starts, then ill seriously be in shit aye

tmr's basic and i cant even find my textbook
GREAT! geor is ever as smart. GAH.


they say absence only makes the heart grow fonder
somehow i hope it isnt true, or we'll never get an end to this
though i think neither presence nor absence's gonna make a difference
since its the mind calling the shots,
wrecking and making my days
but ive to say im still enjoying everyday wrecked/made

mood/inspiration-less.
its been this way for many days
i think my brain has died.
gah. ciaociao

xoxo
9:53 AM

Sunday, April 23, 2006

was having a conversation with ken and realised our differences.
like the way we perceive stuffs and how we handle it.

i mean, some people(like yours truly), would go on and on ranting, blowing your ear drums away with all thats buggin me. at least all that i feel is ok for you to know. things that i wouldnt embarrass myself with of course. then there're people, who has somewhat evolved with time, in the sense that they figured going on blowing about all the shit in life is redundant. might as well just shhh and settle it on a less attention-seeking note. only speaking about or bringing it up when the time is right or when they really feel the need to talk.

perhaps noone has realised this yet but yeah, im actually the sort who needs to give whoever an earful about whatever shit/fun/hearts im going through. i need, ok i WANT to let people know. not cuz i want them to feel sad for me or require special attention from them. but it just always feels better when u talk about it. regardless of whether the matter is of importance or not, emo-fying or heartshearts. i just think its important. i can tell basically anyone about my life now. the reasons why im upset and the causes behind my smiles. how inferior a person i am. how i really think bathing twice a day is a waste of time.(and so i dont, HEH) i would even tell you whats been making my heart skip beats and why it goes on a spasm spree every now and then BUT, for some reasons, i just cant. SOME REASONS. haha.

then again, besides my sis, i barely let that side of me show. one reason maybe being that i know she wouldnt judge me. honestly, even if she does, i dont give a damn. haha. other reason being that i figured everyone's prolly having shit a piece of time of their life too and i wouldnt wanna be such an asshole to make em listen to my nonsensical ramblings. thats why unless they bother asking, i would shut up. BUT SOMETIMES, when i cant control myself, ill intentionally drop hints or talk in a way whereby theyll have no choice but to ask. LOL. im so sorry if i ever did that to u. i couldnt help it. hahahahaha.

i know i sound FOS now and it prolly doesnt make much sense
but if theres someone out there who's in my shoes,
im damn sure you'll immediately get what i wanna say
and if one day geor goes on and on buggin u about your life, be glad and not annoyed.

it only means geor cares for you.
cuz she assumes everyone around her thinks the same.
that theyre just actually secretly waiting for people to show interest in their life before theyre willing to open up. perhaps geor's the only one thinking this way but well, lets just allow her to be in denial. hahahaha.

and sorry for sucha chunky entry
its 3plus and my brain's in a knot now
cant exactly think straight, thus talking in such incoherent fashion

kayaking later at 930!
i think its doomsville for me tonight. as in during the PM.
im gonna be how tired?! insomniac on the loose!!


and superwoman's repeating in my head now.
WTH?!

zzzzzzz

xoxo
2:55 AM

Saturday, April 22, 2006

i think im going cao ge crazy
cuz ive been playin and playing and playing and playing his songs
oh my, AND SO IS ME SIS hahaha

i guess the late nights are wearing me out
im exhausted, totally. drained.
brain's been working unnecessarily and the thought of work tmr is like zzzzzzzzz. GAH.

nvm, im good. geor's good now
NO EMO MONSTER
and i really really really wanna catch a show
like REALLY, its been ages man
soon and if u realised, geor has no inspiration to blog AT ALL.
things she wants to say, are put in the simplest words in her mind right now so, cant let the whole world know what she's thinking what right. so she'll shut up. and she's not even makin sense now. songs are just still bestfriends. speaks/sings your mind. aww.

sadly, no bestfriend tonight.
and i need to go play maria now so yeah,
laters. =))


thudthudthud

xoxo
12:45 AM