Friday, March 31, 2006

wearily happy
unspeakable source of smiles




proliferation of the hearts

xoxo
1:11 PM

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

so its 1050 now and im surprisingly sleepy
so, perhaps as some people mightve predicted, i missed the movie today. had to go meet pb cuz she said she missed me. LOL. damn turn-off of me to say that but yeah, hahaha. i was damn turned-off too. i WILL watch it though. next week i guess cuz there isnt much time left for this week.

i was stoning earlier when suddenly some of my thoughts punched me right in the head. ok, not punched, its nothing emo, just left me startled thats all. theyre just thoughts not heavy enough to sway geor back to emo land. ive had enough of monstrous emo-nosity. i figured it kills my happy cells and the people around me. hahaha. but i honestly have been feelin rather happy and ive absolutely no clue where all that energy's coming from. lets just hope it'll last through this week or at least, the next two days? heh

OH! i just have to say this. the guy at kbox toapayoh, the manager or some shit, is really damn huge a bitch pls. ill spare everyone the details though, being the kind geor i am. RAH.

details details details details.
talk about details, i think i look into them too much i track outta the large picture all the time. thats not very nice but then again, without details, everything's sucha bore isnt it? ok, im being random again. woops.


unexpectedly comfortable, uncomfortably pleasing

xoxo
10:50 PM

geor was mocked and she's not feeling right about it
thus, she's gonna embark on a see-a-movie-alone trip tmr
hopefully there'll be tickets tmr by the time i get there
and in case ure thinkin of how easy it is to spite geor, youre wrong
its just some of the great-to-be philosophies that geor has thats buggin her.

and this entry is just for ken lim cuz she has really hit the spot. rah. -bites

xoxo
1:03 AM

Monday, March 27, 2006

so there's finally a rainy day, after so long.
i just love weathers like today's
its the sort that makes u feel like doing nothing but snuggling in bed with the lights turned low and being serenaded by your 'rainyday' playlist. all u can think of are happy thoughts and even dream happy dreams yo. hahahaha. dont you just love this weather?

SADLY, geor just had to work today.
literally dragged myself outta bed this morning and when i say drag, i really mean DRAG. even my body was protesting violently against it. it made me cut and scald myself at work. it was basically geor, the stoner, at work this morning. but oh well, we all know i can and should NEVER defy my wonderwoman of an aunt. consequences are totally unbearable.

im absolutely in love with this stephen speaks song i stole from j earlier. like omg. it makes me THIS happy when i listen to it. my heart beats faster with every note played. every word of the song cant sound anymore real. like whoa. ok, i might be over-reacting and totally exaggerating to u guys, who might be reading but ya. i dont give two cents how stupid i sound now, ITS DAMN NICE. lol.


It's her hair and her eyes today
That just simply take me away
And the feeling that I'm falling further in love
Makes me shiver but in a good way
All the times I have sat and stared
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
And she purses her lips, bats her eyes
And she plays with me sittin there slacked jaw
And nothing to say

Coz I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Coz she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again

It's a masterful melody
When she calls out my name to me
As the world spins around her
She laughs, close her eyes
And I feel like I'm fallin but it's no surprise.
Coz I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Coz it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land
Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again.

It's her hair and her eyes today
That just simply take me away
And the feeling that I'm falling further in love
Makes me shiver but in a good way
Often times I have sat and stared
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
As she purses her lips, bats her eyes
And she plays with me sittin there slacked jaw
And nothing to say.

Coz I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Coz it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land
Yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again.

out of my league - stephen speaks

im sorry i keep drwoing u guys with dumb lyrics.
im a sucker for them. right saph? lol

i sound happy dont i?
i think i am too. lol
dont bother asking me why, cuz im a selfish person. i wouldnt tell u. but it might just be cuz of the song that ive been playing on repeat since 2hrs ago. haha. my sis has been on my back about it.

'CAN U CHANGE IT?!' she's yelling.
too bad my dear. haha


days lit bright by a beaming tone of red

xoxo
9:30 PM

Saturday, March 25, 2006

tonight marks the end of geor's moping days
though its past 12, well..
lets just not be too particular for once aye? =))

and for whoever's info, the first three lines of this entry took me like more than half an hour to type. cuz i seriously cant multi-task for nuts, its sad. hahaha. today wasnt exactly all dandy for geor but yeah, was fun meetin up with saph and gwynie. though im terribly sorry to gwyn for being 7hrs late and to saph for being 2hrs late. whats new? heh. and before i forget, it was nice seeing good old ta for that pathetic 10 mins too.

fryday's come and gone. saturday has taken its place but where the hell's my sunday? i cant wait for the scorching sun. and being randomly random, it really doesnt take much to make me smile, even if its just for awhile. and i want my raisins now! anyone, buy me raisins now and ill love u for life. HAR! ok, thats too much. and noone's kind enough. ill just bless myself with them tmr, like BLESS really. heh.


I just don't understand
Why you're running from a good man baby
Why you wanna turn your back on love
Why you've already given up
See I know you've been hurt before
But I swear I'll give you so much more
I swear I'll never let you down
Cause I swear it's you that I adore
And I can't help myself babe
Cause I think about you constantly
and my heart gets no rest over you

You can call me selfish
But all I want is your love
You can call me hopeless
Cause I'm hopelessly in love
You can call me unperfect
But who's perfect?
Tell me what do I gotta do
To prove that I'm the only one for you
What's wrong with being selfish?

I'll be taking up your time
Until the day I make you realize
That for your there could be no one else
I just gotta have you for myself
Baby I would take good care of you
No matter what it is you're going through
I'll be there for you when you're in need
Baby believe in me
If love was a crime
Then punish me
I would die for you
Cause I don't want to live without you
Oh what can I do?


selfish - nsync

HAR gwyn, thats the 'selfish' song i was listening to by NSYNC sial.
now u know. haha. =))

xoxo
1:49 AM

Friday, March 24, 2006

I heard this old story before
Where the people keep on killing for their metaphors
But don't leave much up to the imagination,
So I, wanna give this imagery back
But I know it just ain’t so easy like that
So I turn the page and read the story again
and again and again
It sure seems the same, with a different name
We're breaking and rebuilding
and we're growing
always guessing

Never knowing
We're shocking but we're nothing
We're just moments, we're Clever but we're clueless
We're just human, amusing and confusing
Were trying but where is this all leading?
We'll Never Know

It all happened so much faster than you could say disaster
Wanna take a time lapse and look at it backwards
Find the last one and maybe that’s just the answer that we're after
But after all we're just a bubble in a boiling pot
Just one breath in a chain of thought
We're moments just combusting
We feel certain but we'll never, never know
It sure seems the same, give it a different name
We're begging and we're needing
and we're trying and we're breathing

Never knowing
We're shocking but we're nothing
We're just moments, we're Clever but we're clueless
We're just human, amusing and confusing
We're helping, rebuilding and we're growing
Never Know

Knock, knock coming door to door
To tell ya that their metaphor is better than yours
And you can either sink or swim things are looking pretty grim
If you don’t believe in what they're spoon feeding
Its got no feeling so I read it again and again and again


never know - jack johnson

and u can either sink or swim, things are looking pretty grim
i just cant agree more
then again, things happen and we'll never never know
where is this all leading?
things feel certain?
but we'll never never know.


i grew up on spoon-fed nonsense i thought were real

xoxo
4:55 PM

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

randomly random
angrily angry
impossibly impossible
disappointingly disapppointed
today was actually good to start with, rah

spare me a day or two more to get outta this damn phase
it sldnt take awhile really, and im sincerely sorry for whatever emo vibes that mightve been oozing off me lately. they're unhealthily contagious i know. and being my random self, i almost laughed out(for godknowswhat) when i saw the names on the tags. right. im only lacking by one name. ok, not very funny i realised after awhile, but im just too lazy to backspace the last two sentence typed so yeah.

anyway

xiang, ive no clue why i always talk in the third party manner. ure not the first who asked but yeah. somehow im sure it means something. ive just yet to figure it out. i will soon though, now that im reminded. and profound entry?! i think not, really. and u can call me too u know? hmm.

saph, hopefully ure at the centre of ur hurricane aye? everything just takes a lil gettin used to sometimes. geor's here for you too.

51, im awfully surprised u got here, really. and even more surprised u tagged. yes, i am who i think i am, i think. haha.

lup sup tang, how can i possibly not cheer up now, right? haha. uve no idea how great a help uve been, seriously. and i dont need all your time spareable, just a teeny bit will do. im not greedy like YOUR dearest ken. TSK.

pb ah, i feel so fortunate suddenly to have u stay so damn friggin near my place. maybe we sld just make it official, though uve done me wrong. haha. u chose a bin instead of me! sadly. RAH.

ta, i never saw this coming at all(not tryin to be rude ah). but now i know, i can always count on u. ok, maybe not ALWAYS. heh.


when words are mere understatements of whats in the mind,
thanks

xoxo
2:41 AM

Monday, March 20, 2006

with everything to say but words just seem to make it seem too trivial a matter. it would just seem too insignificant for getting myself as shaken as i am. it would seem too insignificant, as insignificant as myself.

i hate the thoughts i think and fear the words i speak, whenever i hit this low. i shock at my very own self with every word that airs, put out in a fashion ive nv quite expected it to be. i feel like a 3 yr old tryin to get her damn ideas across the busy dinner table, where everyone's just rushing through the meal, cuz they just have too many things on hand to spare the poor kid a lil time. not even good old mama listens and all she does is, ' hurry finish up your food.'

its like screaming to a crowd turned deaf
its times like these that makes you feel so impossible every once in awhile. its like noone's free any longer to lend u a min or two(ok, maybe more) but ya.

and when u talk, u try ur best to steer clear of the topic thats been buggin u for GodKnowsHowLong just so u wun end up a conversation murderer and you go on seemingly enjoying yourself on things that u dont even know why u talk about. at the end of the numerous convos, u find yourself feelin even more empty than u were, before u started talkin silly. then you start to wonder, where has all your audience gone? and you find yourself reaching for the com unknowingly, seeking comfort in its company and the fact that u can rant all you want without having to worry for a proper reaction from the listener, probably just cuz you know well enough that people dont read it. and even if they do, noone would spare u an extra 30 seconds to even think of how ure doing, or even wonder what actually sparked you to create an entry as angsty as this one is.


we all know geor is a noisy child but looking at the way things goes,
perhaps, swimmin in your own thoughts is the best remedy
and silence might just then be the best company.



when existence only takes place in forms of shadows and figures

xoxo
10:31 AM

Thursday, March 16, 2006

our dear ken is having her ass glued beautifully to the stairs and eyes to the damn screen. she has absolutely no concern at all for her wonderful friend upstairs, who in this case, happens to be boring herself to bits.

v for vendetta is good, like quite, at least
im honestly damn tired now and im randomly random again
my eyelids are like weighing a ton this very moment
geor is like eternally chained to late nights man, pass me the keys someone pls

worked like bananas today and every inch of muscle/fats on my back are crying for help. suddenly, i feel 30 yrs older. hmm. on a second thought, i dont think i'd like to know whats gonna be of me 30 yrs down the road eh(ok, random peanuts again). im sure it wun take much of ur brain cells to know why i fear the thought, unless u dont quite know me at all. then again, who really knows me well enough anyway?


in a world of deceptions, i'm the cream of the crop

xoxo
11:48 PM

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

i realised ive been coming back to this blank space for quite awhile
this can only mean that ive nothing to blog about
when actually, i had a dozen things to say,
a dozen things to say on a day where simply nothing happened


geor is random shit and she's bored out of her pea of a brain
she's still jobless and THIS desperate
she thinks she's balding, either from the lack of sleep OR
from the stress with the nearing of the end-of-month
she saw people she havent seen for quite awhile
she thinks they all look better and she's sorry for not being to meet joycelyn in the afternoon only to end up bumping into her during the evening

my mum was seriously breathing down my neck this morning about everything. i didnt think i could pacify her soon enough to leave the house safely by evening u see, so yeah. that explains.



as if a glass could contain the sea

xoxo
12:15 AM

Monday, March 13, 2006

oh my, there was this lady at the 85 market just now
damn damn pretty like seriously
ya, thats all BESIDES the fact that the damn bak chor mee was closed

anyway, what makes your day? i mean it could be a simple gesture or whatever. a smile, an anonymous someone, basically anything under the scorching sun. a stranger on the sidewalk. a hidden msg in a random story? anything u can think of basically.

for me, an auntie cabby made my day, today
whats yours? =))

xoxo
11:50 PM

Saturday, March 11, 2006

argh, im being deprived of sleep man. roar
woke up to a blocked nose and a heavy head
so now, im staring at the damn com at such unearthly hours with dozens of wantons(tissues) infront of me. lol

somehow, i feel this's gonna be a really long entry.
hmmm. anyway, so it turned out to be like such a small matter
maybe she really should file for it on her own rather than just sit and wait aye. but i was damn pissed at the damn person-in-charge la, whichever title/position he's holding. does he have the damn right to yell at her. like hello, this is not a damn market for u to bargain and all. so now just wanna allow her to enter and then just yell like bananas at her la?! wtf, if i went in i'd make sure u get it from me man. whatever gives u the right to yell at my mum?!

and so she came out, all pissed, ranting but i could tell she was sore about something else instead. perhaps, the language barrier, i assume. i mean my mum cant really speak eng nor understand it very well. so ya. she mustve had a hard time facing the damn assholes with none of us around. short as the duration may be, she mustve felt intimidated. not by reasons, but by the form of communication and the cocky-ness in the nature of like SOME people. so just cuz she cant speak eng, ure gonna rip her off the chance to defend herself? so much for having an interpreter man. i'm pretty sure it'd end up the same.

anyway, mum isnt too happy with me now either
aint working, no income and she insists im going out too often
hmmm. i think ive been rather cranky
i could be all smiley and just hit rock-bottom the very next min
this's bad. i need a job to like, STABILISE myself or something? hahaha


interviews, gym(yeah right, lol), tann, work, psp, TENNIS(HAR!)
wah, everything mentioned above comes with a huge price tag well, except WORK of course. hahaha. ok, im starting to nod away alr. sigh. i need sleep, seriously.

xoxo
8:16 AM

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

rah. second extraction within two weeks
was hurting so bad last night i missed my dear sleep
the next thing i know, -pooff- the tooth's gone at the dentist's
i suck man really, roar

so now i'm disabled on both sides which mean i cant really chew
great, whats for dinner man? and breakfast then lunch?
tell me all about it dammit
im hungry la pls oh my
haven eaten the whole day besides two wonderful slice of plain bread
and a cup of tasteless iced milo
well, if this sounds like a damn diet, ITS NOT!

and this one hurts damn bad man hmmm
ok, i can seek a huge ass comfort in one thing. heh
PSP! omg ta i love you! lol if i say i love steph too would it sound weird?
HAHAHAHA.


FOOD HUNTING AH.

xoxo
9:11 PM

Sunday, March 05, 2006

u gave me my life
yet u just have to be the one to ruin it
like your own being a wretched one isnt enough
i dont need a share in this man, not anymore

im just so fcukin sick of you and whatever that comes along with it, damn moron
it takes alot of effort to hate someone actually, but u make despising you easier everytime

ive done wad i was supp to and ive tried
so if u just wanna etch everything right after again,
then its time i spend the effort on something else worth keeping up to

u look like a damn freak everytime this happens
ur eyes feels absolutely empty
and it freaks us out, freaks me out
cuz u look like u were gonna whack the hell outta whatever

but i guess maybe thats all you're capable of,
taking it out on whoever in the name of alcohol
good one, really

im just so sick of trying and everything around
like everything just wanna come together man
first its school and now, its some bastard?

xoxo
2:00 PM

Friday, March 03, 2006

was THIS close to bursting emo-meter last night
havent felt like this for damn long
everything was sinking in
everything about how i wasted my 2 yrs away
how i nv actually sat down and face it properly
all i had was my back to it, all the while

had every word you could think of to rant last night
but blogger just had to be kind to all of you
and gave me probs loadin the damn page and all
so everyone is spared from my ramblings
for they are all stacked neatly back in the shelves of my pea of a brain

for a moment last night, i really really felt the damn anger ive been bearing for myself. its kinda scary thinking bout it again now. =/

so poly, or private?
wait, will poly even take me back?
sigh

xoxo
1:51 PM

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Some people think they're always right
Others are quiet and uptight
Others they seem so very nice nice nice nice (oh-ho)
Inside they might feel sad and wrong (oh no)

Twenty-nine different attributes
Only seven that you like
Twenty ways to see the world (oh-ho)
Twenty ways to start a fight (oh-ho)

Oh don't don't don't get up
I can't see the sunshine
I'll be waiting for you, baby
Cause I'm through
Sit me down
Shut me up
I'll calm down
And I'll get along with you

Oh men don't notice what they got
Women think of that a lot
One thousand ways to please your man (oh-ho)
Not even one requires a plan (I know)

Countless odd religions, too
It doesn't matter which you choose (oh no)
One stubborn way to turn your back (oh-ho)
This I've tried and now refuse (oh-ho)

Oh don't don't don't get up
I can't see the sunshine
I'll be waiting for you, baby
Cause I'm through
Sit me down
Shut me up
I'll calm down
And I'll get along with you
Alright

you only live once - the strokes


saph, ur fault ah
send alr then now i play until my com's gonna start spitting the lyrics alr hahahahaha damn perky ah i think. cuteness man, i think my ipod will start moving to it.

ok, back to boredom now

xoxo
12:00 AM