perfect standstill

Sunday, April 23, 2006

was having a conversation with ken and realised our differences.
like the way we perceive stuffs and how we handle it.

i mean, some people(like yours truly), would go on and on ranting, blowing your ear drums away with all thats buggin me. at least all that i feel is ok for you to know. things that i wouldnt embarrass myself with of course. then there're people, who has somewhat evolved with time, in the sense that they figured going on blowing about all the shit in life is redundant. might as well just shhh and settle it on a less attention-seeking note. only speaking about or bringing it up when the time is right or when they really feel the need to talk.

perhaps noone has realised this yet but yeah, im actually the sort who needs to give whoever an earful about whatever shit/fun/hearts im going through. i need, ok i WANT to let people know. not cuz i want them to feel sad for me or require special attention from them. but it just always feels better when u talk about it. regardless of whether the matter is of importance or not, emo-fying or heartshearts. i just think its important. i can tell basically anyone about my life now. the reasons why im upset and the causes behind my smiles. how inferior a person i am. how i really think bathing twice a day is a waste of time.(and so i dont, HEH) i would even tell you whats been making my heart skip beats and why it goes on a spasm spree every now and then BUT, for some reasons, i just cant. SOME REASONS. haha.

then again, besides my sis, i barely let that side of me show. one reason maybe being that i know she wouldnt judge me. honestly, even if she does, i dont give a damn. haha. other reason being that i figured everyone's prolly having shit a piece of time of their life too and i wouldnt wanna be such an asshole to make em listen to my nonsensical ramblings. thats why unless they bother asking, i would shut up. BUT SOMETIMES, when i cant control myself, ill intentionally drop hints or talk in a way whereby theyll have no choice but to ask. LOL. im so sorry if i ever did that to u. i couldnt help it. hahahahaha.

i know i sound FOS now and it prolly doesnt make much sense
but if theres someone out there who's in my shoes,
im damn sure you'll immediately get what i wanna say
and if one day geor goes on and on buggin u about your life, be glad and not annoyed.

it only means geor cares for you.
cuz she assumes everyone around her thinks the same.
that theyre just actually secretly waiting for people to show interest in their life before theyre willing to open up. perhaps geor's the only one thinking this way but well, lets just allow her to be in denial. hahahaha.

and sorry for sucha chunky entry
its 3plus and my brain's in a knot now
cant exactly think straight, thus talking in such incoherent fashion

kayaking later at 930!
i think its doomsville for me tonight. as in during the PM.
im gonna be how tired?! insomniac on the loose!!

and superwoman's repeating in my head now.
WTH?!

zzzzzzz

xoxo
2:55 AM